And she just didn't know when it all began-the tumbling of the blocks that held together her life. She always knew it was rickety; what with having the steps that carried a 'do not climb' board and a yellow danger tape cutting access to it from the world. So similar to her stern face when she walked by herself on the roads in the night- clearly spelling a stay away.
It all began to crack up just when she thought finally everything was coming together. Slowly she could see the banalities through the polishes. Why did they feed her fantasies as a child? Actually they had not, she fed herself those- always searching for the lost cloud, seeking the end of the rainbow. The unattainable had always fascinated her.
Any other person would have given up. But she was sincere to a fault, competitive to an extent that she just couldn't see her not win. A task at hand had to be completed. She was severe with herself, probably she was the harshest of her critics.
She had tried to gel the cracks. Put some m-seal and cover it up. But it widened instead. The chasm gaping at her with a foreboding. And she was scared.
But there was no hand to hold. No one to pat on the head and reassure. No one to just hold her calmly and not say a word. Her silence deepened with the cracks.
A loneliness so complete, it rendered her faint at times. A darkness so absorbing, she was slowly getting used to it. Five steps to the right, with a song, would make her happy for 23 minutes. Two steps left and down the ladder in the rain, would bring a smile for an hour. And then, once again- the darkness and her.
There was something to relish in this melancholy. It was a unique tale with no other contenders around. The reigning queen of depression.
Sometimes she grew tired of it all and she craved sleep.
