thinking

Today is a day to write as there are little noises disturbing my head and making me think of things I shouldn't be wasting my time anymore on. Yes, there are always things to forget. Have you noticed how that keeps piling on and on and you actually end up remembering what all there is to forget?!

Sometimes people are the strangest of creatures. How much they change over time? How much things change over time. What seemed the most meaningful, one fine day, in one sweep of a moment, becomes non existent?!

Digestion of facts needs far more roughage of good deeds to aid. I am slowly piling up good things in my life. My new dust pile. My very own, humble one with simple joys.

recap

is a cruel word

Thoughts

...and what do I talk of jealousy- possessing and full of visions? That which you seek but can't have?

Someone else's goods.
Your misery gifted them their luck.

You'd always treat it better- because you never had what they took for granted over time.
You'd always fantasize about owning it- it never was yours.

And that object that has been thwarted by the owner, and still wills not to be owned by you- that kills you with its disregard of your want.

Jealousy, that pounces at you from between the pages, through fumes emerging from the dark corners of the room- like termites festering on wood- eating the insides first.

Short story- 17

"It had set into a rhythm. A long chat after work. Lazing in the room. Settling with a cup of food and her. They'd talk. Endlessly. About everything. Sometimes about nothing. It was a ritual. It meant something. Or so he thought.

But the more deep the waters got, the more the swimmer's life is tossed into the mercy of the sea. And thus one day, when all this depth of sharing and caring and meaning grew over bearing, he panicked and ran.

A coward."

Grandma looked up from The children's tale book of the big bad world. The kids looked at her with eyes full of pained anticipation.

She sighed. Then smiled. And continued to read.

Published!!!!

Presenting
Kavikala: a visual poetry project, in collaboration with 33 artists and
33 poets, aka the Madness Mandali. Check out my illustration at 0:26 secs. Yay! I'm published! :)

Check it out here!

Inklings!

It is probably too early, but what the heck?! I have an inkling that this year is going to be a really really good one! For starts, it started with bonfire in the beach, constellations winking and firecrackers exploding into a star shower just above our heads! You can't possibly ask for a better new year's night. And well, it has also lead to a makeover and nice things happening.

I just have a good feeling I'm slowly crawling back to happiness. Or probably, leaping into sunshine like a deer!

Many little Tinker bells are flying inside my soul!

I feel blithe!

:)

Short story- 16

She scribbled and a tear smudged the paper. She folded the sheet and gave it to the grave-etcher. Her eyes looked pained. She nodded and departed, leaving him standing with the folded bit of paper.

He picked up his tool bag and slung it on his shoulder. He opened the paper.

"Here lies the grave of a coward who couldn't appreciate the beauty of things he had. Who played a million lies throughout his life. A man, who despite being loved truly, did not want it. A man who died, in the end, wishing to change his past. May his pitiable soul rest in peace."

I

I am your guilt,

I am your want.

I am your forbidden fruit.

I am the dream you hide from yourself

I am the thing that scares you away.

I am a bit of you, you never knew, existed

I am that one thing you shall never have.

Yes, i shall remain the star you can never reach,

for you wanted just the tree tops!

Artsy beginnings

Two online magazines carried my art work as a feature in their recent issues!
It feels great! :)

Pyrta Journal- Winter issue:
http://www.pyrtajournal.com/

Spark Magazine- Anniversary Issue- January 2011
http://www.sparkthemagazine.com/?p=1124

Dear new year,

Your older sister was a mean bitch. She made sure I felt lonely, weird, confused and afraid. She also teased me with promises and left me in the middle of nowhere. Occasionally, she took me out for coffee and treated me decently- as if to erase her evil bouts. And just before she left for good, she took me on a trip to this beautiful place called Diu, gave me an almost-unblemished time. I must say that was actually quite decent of her.

Now that you are here, everyday, I just want to sort a few things out. WE MAKE PEACE. Yes, we do. No matter what.

We also treat one another nicely. That way you get to see me happy genuinely. Also that way I get to spread the joy that I generally used to do sometime in the past. And trust me, everyone is going to love you for it. Now that is more than a fair deal!

Importantly, I have certain questions that are eating my head like lice. And these, you may have to answer this time. Let me rephrase that... you MUST answer this time round.

We go places together. We feel life.

Good work= No bitching. So you better get me there. I shall do all the investment of work, time and honesty.

If ever I dwindle in my sanity(which I highly doubt I ever would. I am blessed with boring clarity), pull me back before I do something silly.

I am too dumbly nice to people even if they look at me like they'll drive a stake through my heart. I am plump. I am messy with my things. Help me get meaner, leaner and cleaner. It is your moral responsibility.

Let me, for a change, not be blah, bleargh, urgh-y or any such random-noised-words-y.

For now, this sounds fine. We shall review the terms of contact on the way I suppose.

Welcome home!

Regards,

Sandhya Ramachandran

P.S.: Please be good to me!!!!!