February 24, 2010

The Quest

When thoughts clog your senses down like a hair-infested gutter
When what you feel rules over your everydays
When distractions amount to mere reminders of what-is-to-come
When bubbles of questioning break the surface of your spirit
asking you for answers to the questions that you have asked a million times over
where do i hide my bandaged soul
where do I go plunge my hot-head full of worries?

No voice soothes these erupting pus-filled boils
No comforting book can provide a perennial balm

The inner struggle to truth continues
Questions questions and more questions
Of approaching events
of struggles to come
and oh most importantly of the scary battle with time
that everyone faces alone

Time that tests you
your patience
that knocks on the city gates of your resilient spirit
and comes calling to wander far.

Time that mocks your
arrogant wish for permanence
knowing the word exists
but in mere fragments of thoughts.

Time that takes away slowly
sometimes crudely
everything you tagged as your own
grabbing and breaking it all to smithereens.

Time that looms ahead
smiling an enigmatic smile
and in mock-challenge asking me
"Will you survive what I have in store for you?"

February 08, 2010

One for the old times

Today was a day for all those old days. It was as if, like a reminder arrow mark pointing backwards at everything gone by.

"...what I feel has come and gone before..."( Rainy Days and Mondays- The Carpenters) was what echoed in my head again and again.

Lovely mild breeze floated across my window laden with memories and a dull sweet scent of the past. A mangled smell, of crushed happiness, powdered sadness- mixed together and concocted to a moderately bitter-sweet smell and tossed into the wind!

There was some romance in the air. Barely a sun, barely a chilly blast- just a fairy breeze that winked and whisked past you! Lilting music cheering the still thoughtful silence and pleasant company adding to the beauty of it all, in a cosy homely nest of a hostel room. And yes, a bug-in-the-rug feeling after nearly a day of depression.

Yes, Browning, I agree..."God's in his heaven, and all's fine with the world!"

Good day, all!

February 01, 2010

A sense of completion

Today I realized once again why I chose to take up filmmaking! For every muscle that pains in my body today, for every second of the headache that I am experiencing right now, for the barely-any-breathing time that I've had in the whole day, I have with me, a thousand fold satisfaction!

An ad shoot. A crew of 3 plus 2, a cast of 2. A small room of 5m X 5m. And a spirit that was calm yet high on energy, firm yet smiling. And I did the whole thing with such delight bubbling within!

I'm just so supremely happy! Although I haven't seen the rushes yet, I suspect I've been able to translate exactly what I wanted to. The set came out beautifully! Even more than I had anticipated. Although I dearly felt the lack of a jimmy jib(lol! I know... too much expectation!), what we managed was great!

I feel SUCH a bubbling warmth that only work can provide. Ah well, as if anything else in life can ever come out like you want it to!

Thank you, whatever powers that be,for everything. I just hope work(apart from family) shall continue to lend meaning to me forever, for I suspect anything else can matter so much to me anymore. As life goes on, so many illusions get shattered, and simplicity disappears between the folds of its pages. The one thing that still, somehow sometimes manages to smile with perfection, is work. And today, I might have just got my share of it! :)

Thanks a bunch Faroooq, Pratik, Sammy, Shambu bhai and Jagdish bhai for all the help. Thanks a million to Punnu and Tatatou.Nea Thankoo Neha for the pictures and Tyagi for the timely help. And a big thank you to everyone who helped me with the sets, location etc, especially, Mrs.Sukhvarsha, our chief warden.

Amma, appa, Swethu- thank you for all the support.

P.S.: Yes, that pretty much reads like an Oscar speech! :P LOL. That was not the intention at all. It is just some delightfully happy simple rambling of a marginally uncomplicated girl! :D

Off I go to shoot again! :D
© Dryad's Peak
Maira Gall