December 17, 2008



Most of the best moments in your life whiz past, before you could genuinely appreciate them. Stuff don't sink in soon.

December 10, 2008

... kaise mujhe...

(written listening to Kaise Mujhe from Ghajini. Vaguely tried to capture every single of those myriad emotions that this song seems to tug at within me. I have never before felt like this about any song. really! I have loved many songs. but this is an undefinable something I feel for it. a reverence. a self-imposed slavery...)




how can some words pull at the heartstrings

some voices make those eyes moist?

how can a lilting strain make rush,a memories' gush


how can some things seem as wispy as truth

how can some nothings seem like everything


what power words have. a little genuinity... a voice that has the universal truth in its soul... music that holds a melody that was never heard ever before but you feel like it belongs to just you and always had..

a deep longing

a pain...anguish...heart bleeds and aches and cries out

some fluttering love...feelings you never knew existed!

nameless faces

faceless names

nameless faceless meaningless

and yet...a deep inner meaning for everything.

true love of the most purest undiluted form... unblemished like the first drop of rain. like the baby bud of grass that daringly lifts its head from the bosoms of the earth!

a quivering something inside.

a throbbing feeling.

a quickening of pulse.

a hope...

a bold bold hope that pulsates within you with renewed vigour and at the same time seems defeated and bereft of itself- knowing how it could resurrect and destroy everything. HOPE! cruel beautiful hope!

Olden promises of elden days. Life as it used to be. Simplicity. baby steps. buds that bloom in the morning's steely inky blue! sun and moon smiling benignly at one another.

the first breeze blowing in the wee hours. the stuff that changed your life. Meaning. yes. meaning and truth, over and again.

Genuinity like it never has existed. Beauty as you have never known. An emotion that transforms you into YOU!

Integrity.purity. love.

Some divine vision beheld, transmogrifying into musical notes that lilt and haunt and stay with you. Obsession. some kind of lifeguard to the rescue while free falling!

freedom. the freedom without bondage. conquer.

One song.

just one song.

November 28, 2008


(dedicated to the victims of the Mumbai terror attack and all others victimized by terrorism in today's world)


I wake up in the morn,

wanting to smell the rain

But instead of the wet mud

I smell blood stains.


I wake up in the morn

wanting to hear the church bells

Suddenly some bombs explode

singing the death knell.


I no more can go to the shops

and ask for my chocolates and gum

Mom is scared and worried

and dad says the terrorists will come.


I hear grandma talk of freedom

how she bravely fought for the cause.

but when I look out of the windows

she screams, all angry and cross!


I seem to have no streets

to run and play and fall!

There is no place to cycle

no place to hide and crawl


I am a little kid of seven

with her book and toys and doll

Why can't I smile in peace

It is my world too, after all!


(dedicated to the victims of the Mumbai terror attack and all others victimized by terrorism in today's world)


I wake up in the morn,

wanting to smell the rain

But instead of the wet mud

I smell blood stains.


I wake up in the morn

wanting to hear the church bells

Suddenly some bombs explode

singing the death knell.


I no more can go to the shops

and ask for my chocolates and gum

Mom is scared and worried

and dad says the terrorists will come.


I hear grandma talk of freedom

how she bravely fought for the cause.

but when I look out of the windows

she screams, all angry and cross!


I seem to have no streets

to run and play and fall!

There is no place to cycle

no place to hide and crawl


I am a little kid of seven

with her book and toys and doll

Why can't I smile in peace

It is my world too, after all!

empty eyes...

deep pangs of longing

a search

an emptiness

a forever road.

November 26, 2008

It is wonderful to be alive...

Rainy days are just so feels like the soul has sprouted wings and is soaring somewhere there... up in the skies... amongst those storm clouds... :)

I have no clue where I get all the positive vibes from. Maybe, like Poorni says, "The cosmos is talking". Or maybe it is somewhere deep within that lies this indefatigable thing called hope, so rooted that nothing seems to nip it off!

I'm just so glad to be alive...

It's a lovely world... :)

November 20, 2008

TAG HEUER (Read Tag Here dummy!)

1. What have you realized lately?

That my happiness is solely my own and I have never been more happier in life! :)

2. Have you given your first kiss away?

HA HA HA! Nopes!

3.  If you were stranded on a desert island, which 11 blog buddies would you take?

Why would I take blog buddies? I'd take a plane! :D

4.  Where is the place you want to go the most?

Prince Edward Island :)

5. if you had one dream to come true, what would it be?

Globe-trot. With mom or alone! :)

6. do you believe in seeing the rainbow after the rain?

like DUH!

7. what’re you afraid of losing the most now?

You can't decide what to win or lose. Somethings are always yours. And somethings can never be. I hope I don't lose perspective of this fact in life!

8. if you win one million dollars what would you do?

Globe-trot! :) Buy a car, new house, sponsor a bright poor kid's education for life! :)

9. if you meet someone that you love, would you tell him/her?

I would. I don't mind that one bit. But well, I should be ASSURE that he loves me back before I pop the question!

10. list 3 good things about the person who tagged you.

a.b.c.: I randomly blog hopped. I have no idea about her. I picked the tag as randomly as I visited her blog!

11. what are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

Should love me for what I am. Should resemble Gilbert Blythe in like a million ways! :D

12. what type of people do you hate the most?

people who possess three-fourths of the qualities I despise!

13. what’s the one thing you cant live without?

people :)

14. if you have faults, would you rather that people around you point it out or keep quiet?

Yeah... better out than in!

15.  are you a shopaholic?

The Material Maniac is another name I go by! ;P

16. find one word to describe the person who tagged you.

good-writer :)

17. if you had a chance, which part of your character would you change?

Maybe I'd be a little less open about my emotions.

18. what’s the last shocking thing you saw or heard?

Can't remember!

19. would you rather love or money?

love of course!!!! How dare u ask tat question TAG?! X(

An Awesome photographer

There are some photographs that truly stay in your mind out of all the gazillion photos we end up seeing in our lifetime. I have already written about one of my favourite photographers- Padmini.


Here's another helluva photographer and a friend of mine. I simply love his photographs.

Check them out at:

Here's wishing Reuters calls you up soon and New York Times renames Best Seller as the Javits page... Cheers!


November 14, 2008


I wanna give the whole wide world a biiiiiiiiiiiiig hug
it is SUCH a nice day

I know there are ppl dying
I know there is crime poverty sadness everythin
but somewhere I feel like this moment... nothing else matters... and everyone's smiling...

November 13, 2008


Today is such a nice gray day. Not the gray of gloominess but the gray of glad. A kind of lazy happiness has fallen over the world and had it not been for an exam tomorrow, I'd have cuddled up with a nice book in a cozy corner near the window with a steaming hot cup of tea and let my soul wander all over!

But as is wont to happen, I have an exam, I am expected to study one whole chapter in the span of the next ten minutes and my mind and soul are rebelling capture ad seeking to flee!

That moderate pregnant bulge in the gray clouds happily promises at least a drizzle and that dry, yet occasionally chilly blast of wind just pampers it more.

Hopes and dreams seem to take wing once again. Till yesterday all the angel flaps seemed frayed and darned-over a million times- ugly patches of cloth covering the gaping gashes in the wispy wings. But today, somehow, someway, they seem miraculously whole and filmy and as magical as they are meant to be!

It just takes some dreamy faraway storm clouds to wash the soul. Sometimes, even before it rains!

November 02, 2008

To Aamir

It really feels great to know that TZP was appreciated so much at the IDA (International Dyslexia Association). Firstly, it feels fantastic that an international audience is able to connect with an Indian film. After considering that our films are just basically on a higher entertainment value and lower on content, FINALLY, we've got some appreciation from an intelligent audience about a movie, relevant to their lives.

Secondly, the entire team of TZP deserves it. Taare Zameen Par, along with Anbe Sivam happen to be my most favourite movie in all times! And it thrills me to bits to see it get this recognition. The effort that every person has put in shows in every frame. he movie makes me bawl every time I watch it. Incidentally, aren't movies that make you cry the ones that stay with you forever and the ones that have a deep emotional connection with you?! TZP is enough to lift my spirits and make me feel renewed in my faith in humanity! :)

Lastly, for Aamir- the man who, with Darsheel, was the face of the film. He, who has popularized it, who made it be known and heard in every nook and cranny.


Speaking about Aamir, I am a BIG fan of his blog. In fact, the only blog I read these days is his and I find SO much simplicity and humility in him! I admire him and his writing for the convictions they stand for, the kind of truth they associate themselves with.

I've always loved Aamir. But his meteoric rise as a thinking actor, in recent times is what made me so passionate about his movie and his ideas and opinions about films.

You know there are always a certain bunch of people whom you admire forever in life. Aamir, is one of them. Being an aspiring movie maker, I really wish I could hear him speak. I cannot curse myself enough for missing him at the Gollapudi Srinivas Awards!

I was just reading his 'Sleepless in Seattle' post in his blog and as usual, the impulsiveness in me shot forth and made me write this!

Ah Aamir... wish I could meet you and tell you HOW wonderful TZP is. I know zillions of others have told you that very same stale dialogue. But somehow, I STILL want to add my voice to the din! The movie means SO much to me! :)

life :)

life, some proclaim is a vale of tears
life, some say is just what you fear
but life, oh well, in truth, dear
is what you make out of it here!

October 16, 2008

So much to write so little time


No one is DYING to write but finding no time more than me! :(

Will be back and dream on...

September 26, 2008

Eyes meet
And there was Light!

I fought with my emotions, to forget those memories.
And they haunted me still, leaving no room for calm.
Cruel coincidences, staged perfections
All dancing their alluring dance
And trapping me into their trance.

...and when it rains...

And the storm clouds gather, huddling in the sky
Dreams erupt, with a roar and a cry
Eyes light up with the ethereal shimmer around
The soul wakes up to the rain sound.

...and when it rains...

…and out pour in frenzy
a million droplets of rain
each with its own story
singing out its strain

as the droplets fall forth
each story enmeshes with the other
the varied voices fusing
in a single pitter-patter!

August 06, 2008

Raja's memories...

Stashed off in mind's remote corner
Years later
When an eager granddaughter
knocks on its doors!

A new begining...

As cliched as that title sounds, I really have begun something anew now! :) I'm writing the biography of the most fascinating man I know- my grandfather! :) We began our sittings today and it was delightful to knock on the doors of memories and get them flowing...

I really hope I will do justice to such a wonderful life and person!

Love you thatha! :)

July 23, 2008


eyes meet
...and there was Light!

July 22, 2008


go add me to favourites or smthg!!!


the very dream that you created
wisp after wisp,
vision after vision
to a million pieces...
The once sweet...
lies in smithereens
Past's sole glory
present's bitter pain
reminding you time and again
of a cold icy failure


you are not as great and infallible as you think
there are other perspectives than your own
life may not give you everything you ask,dream,desire
there may be other roads open
while roads you want shut close
there are oceans ahead
and you stand alone- no ship, no sails
you need to build your own boat
you got no time
you are alone
there is help at hand
yet you are alone
the sea rages ahead
and time slyly smiles
a li'l trick of the mighty one above
a trick to test your skill
how far would you go
how deep do you want
how much would you sacrifice
for one persistent dream?
for one moment of ecstacty?
how much would you trade for
the one epoch you dreamed about?


A little more of sunshine
A little more of smiles
A little less of tears

A little more of truth
A little more of light
A little more simplicity

A nicer brighter dawn
Let a sweeter world, it be, if it can
Lots more laughter,
Lots more cheer
A little less of strife
in this lifegoo
Is all I ask you
Oh God, grant this prayer!


Give me a reason to smile
They don't come on their own anymore
You don't give up on fantasies as you grow old,
Fantasies give up on you...
for turning into one more of th world men!

And then you find no reason to smile
There's nothing worthwhile anymore
dreams-you know may never come true
and love and laughter are so momentary!

What stays? You ask and ask again!
Oh.. but only this emptiness and search!
I need a reason to smile again
To trust more wholly
to live more heartily
to smile the smiles again!

A dream...

A dream it was
A perfection
A moment for expectations to rejoice

A flutter of hope was born
To take wings to soar in the sky
Clouds float by
The wind buoys it higher

Wake up
Only a dream it was!


It's weird... this life.. this everything

a vague attempt to wait..
for what?

We know not!

I seek
I seek
I seek again
without a goal,
without a reason!

Why this perennial search?
Why this painful wait?
And for what, I ask again!

I wish i knew.
I wish I could
get to propel forward.
Gone is the hope
the faith, the trust

The world cruelly snips your wings
and asks you to fly!

Ramblings of an over thoughtful analytical mind!

so many wants...
so many dreams...
wish i could turn back time!
and show myself how things could be done better!

wish I could erase some memories
not the bitter horrible ones
but the absolutely perfect sweet ones
which haunt me
reminding me of better times
...a better existence
a life where things happened
stagnation was non-existent
in fact- obsolete!

Those sweet memories
of fulfilled dreams
of cherishable times
of pink blue green lights
rainbow ends
and starburst skies

whither has gone my moonbeam?
to make everyday and night a wonder to live through
the pink glasses- come back again!
to make me love this life as before!


One day the weight of expectations will sink in you... and you find that you don't have it in you to carry the load!

Burnt memories flash as embers,
forgotten dreams smirk,
killed hopes haunt you as ghosts
nd you want to cry and drown them all...
and well...


...and a deep gnawing ache bites through your soul!

July 20, 2008

Not all dreams come true! Especially the ones that your heart deeply desires!!! Someway or the other, life snuffs them... and deals the death knell to it! And then...

the very dream that you created
wisp after wisp,
vision after vision
to a million pieces...
The once sweet...
lies in smithereens
Past's sole glory
present's bitter pain
reminding you time and again
of a cold icy failure

White lies to hide almost white foamy disasters,A big wave of meaning to the ripple that was lifeA big excitement to mask mundane life into oblivion,A thrill-unable to be expressed to the world,A hidden horror beneath it all- unable to string to words,A lovely deep gurgle of joy- inexplicable for want of strength,Life on a new plane- a new recreated self,Rebirth-a nice new novel way to prolong survivalA new vision, a new purpose and a new dimension added to existence


Been here, done that!
Life repeats here and there
A recap of yesterday’s events
Rehashed into today with a floss
A long ago’s time
Fills once again,
Today’s pages are sprayed,
With yesterday’s olden sunshine

Words from the past revisit
To flush into the present all of a sudden;
A vague memory awakened…
A forgotten thought yanked…
A new fragrance added to the flower of life…


*written on a change of college bus*

known faces, strange looks,
Well-trodden paths, unknown nooks
Known destination, unfamiliar sands,
A stranger, i've become, in a known land!

A whip

A slap
A delve with a knife into my heart
Couldn’t have hurt me more
Than that one word from your lips


I’m a leech
Clinging on
To old memories
Broken bangles
Forgotten tangles
Lonely wanderings
Sweet nothings
Sunshiny smiles
Childish wiles
Broken hearts
Their scars and marks
Joyous times
Nonsensical rhymes
Little boats of thoughts
Streams in and out fast
Divine presence
Unknown silence
Lovely gurgling laughter
Lonely desolate after
Holding on to past
As day after day does pass
Can’t let go fast…


I sigh
It’s been a weary day.
My limbs are aching
Hunger comes in the way

My bus goes on its rickety journey,
Back to where there’s food and rest waiting
I look out through the window,
Lifting my droopy dead eyes, out into the city
Out into Chennai’s cityscape
Painted; at the same time alive
Buzzing and peaceful
Going about its work…

The sky is all gray with clouds
Outside looks so much better a place to be!
The earthy-rain smell makes me go high!
I smile, I relax, I look out and see…

There the wayside tea-shop sales
Are roaring on, like the gale.
The brown concoction steaming,
Creating abstract art forms
On the canvas of air.

There the lady with the pink umbrella
Stands, awaits the bus.
The evening sun is setting down
And home beckons with its work and fun

Here the lonely cycler walks,
Looking at the beautiful world
Drinking in delight, its golden beauty.
“Ah sometimes it should just be nature and me!”

There the beach stretches along
With a thousand hidden pearls
And secrets, well kept.
Its echoing waters call me,
Its waves lick the ground
I look and the blue expands,
Expands… till I can see no more!

There the beggar woman sits
Black eyes, looking out to nothingness
All around her, lives go fast…
Her life is filled with nothing but the past!
She cries and begs for a coin,
The beauty of the world, notwithstanding!

My city, in its shades of green,
Its shades of grays and blues and pink!
In shades of black and brown and more,
Stretches ahead on my road.

I see it now; I’ve seen it before,
Yet, it’s got something new in store.
Every time, a jolt of pain, a bloom of joy,
Life here makes you laugh and cry!

I look on outside, at the cityscape,
Tall buildings, hut, sun and rain!

Eighteen going on Eighty! :P

Am I girly or a granny?
Oh god wont you tell me which?

I feel confused and irritated too
And when I’m called mother, I go ‘Boo Hoo’.

What in the world do these people think?
How can I change from granny to girl in a wink?

It’s funny at times, but mostly hurting,
My tear glands are full, readily spurting

Sister, mother, granny dear,
“So early?” the girl in me fears.

Can’t I be just me- plain simple me?
Why can’t everyone just me, see?

God, bringing your power, intervene.
Make me a girl, a pretty queen!!!


Sitting in idleness
Sometimes, I feel
This life- in retrospection-
A mixed bag has been.

Eighteen years-
Not long, nay!
Too short a span,
To judge, maybe.

Nevertheless, as I look back
A few moments, good and bad
Come alive, for seconds few,
Rewind and play again, I do!

Funny- this way I live again,
The dread, the glory; the joy, the pain.
I feel the myriad feels, I felt ago,
As if they happened now, just so!

Flash back seems so nice a way,
To go back to the past, from today.
Then stop, forward, on I go,
Dream away on future in tow.

This life- a journey of joy and pain,
A lesson- once taught, never again.
This birth- a disguise in offer,
To learn about life, before the coffer*.
This body- a form giving refuge
To the spirit from a grieving deluge.
This soul- a mysterious entrapment,
A perennial question, a divine fragment.
This mind- an unfathomable expanse,
A practical figment, an intellectual dance.

This life- a miracle, a journey onwards,
A lesson once taught, a victory cornered.

Eighteen summers gone, eighteen autumns seen,
Years waiting to come- a surging dream.
The wishes, the thoughts, the heartbeats, the desire,
The unquenched glory, the passionate fire.
Waiting for their dawn to come their way,
Waiting for life to unfold each day!

Twilit Traverses

All the sky is mine
And all that’s beyond.
My life seems enchanted
Drenched in a dream song
I am out to work and conquer
And fill my days with blossoms
Of renewed hopes and ties!

I am a victor
I cannot fall
I hope, I dream, I conquer
The sun just yonder, will soon rise tall…
And spread the rays of The Master
Beneath; on humanity-all!

The world will gape my power,
The world shall love and praise.
All the world’s at my feet,
Victory fills my days.

A sudden look at the sky
A sudden budding hope.
All doubts vanish in a second,
A miracle sows its crop…

‘THE’ girl

I walked around aimlessly,
With nothing worthwhile to do.
Feeling exhausted yet ready for excitement,
I stood without a clue!

What am I doing?
Killing time mercilessly?
I wondered and then stopped,
For my eyes fell upon a dancing girl,
Who seemed perfect and flawless!
She had a mouth blooming with smiles.
She was a beauty to behold,
A masterpiece painted with passion.

Her self was all a-hope,
Distant dreams she wanted to bloom
Her dance was one- bewitching!
Full of grace, style and beautiful moves.

Oh! How perfect she seemed,
As I stood in awe and rapture,
What a great person, she is,
The Creator’s one great creature!

And then it occurred…
After so long…
That, that perfection,
Was this very soul only!

Well, if only everyone thinks the same\!
Why should, God, I blame?


Oh! How dead and stale is Life.
Past was sprouting with beauty.
The present seems dull and dark.
All that stretches ahead in future,
Seems to hold no light, no spark!

How dull, drab, uninteresting!
How spiceless, how void!
Life just seems a stretch of days,
Of happiness-devoid!

Suddenly a kite emerges,
Out of the fluffy white clouds
Struggling with the gushing wind,
Against all odds –fighting it out!

A riot of colours dancing in the air,
Splotched in beauty and full of dare,
Courage, attitude and strength of mind,
All and more in it did I find.

Oh! Being alive did I not know,
Courage and perseverance-how to show!
It took a little kite to teach me,
“Life is tough-fight it with glee!”


Sudden footfalls inspire,
The cold wind to chill the bones.
Was that the sound of spirits?
Walking out of graves to roam?

Eerie silence suddenly prevails,
The rustle of the leaves echoes.
Leaving no hope for calm,
Fear in the mind it sows.

The cobwebby stones emerged,
With an elegy to sing in praise,
The long dead man rests,
Unknown of how much he is loved.

Maybe sometimes he does come out!
To see those faces stained with tears,
And weep alongside and mourn-
He for them and they for their dear.

Out ahead looms,
The graves of all ‘dead’ souls.
Dead are they really?
A sudden doubt rolls…


She slowly opened her eyes and beheld the world,
Oh! How splendid and bright it is to be alive!
Her father had not wanted the girl,
Her mother had thought the same.
And together they had tried to wipe,
From life’s pages, her name.

But, oh, the poor girl did survive,
As a crippled lame thing,
Escaping death by a whisker,
A heavenly blessing?

She grew up amidst dislike and hate,
She remained unloved, unwanted.
A lonely heart amidst her kin,
A limping servant maid.

“Your birth brought us no joy,
Let your parting, a lakh, pay,”
Her father had fixed a sixty year old groom,
The girl refused, ran away from ‘home’.

A gang of men waylaid her,
She tried to save herself.
Once more the heavens helped,
A bus stopped to take her to town.

There she worked, she earned, she found her lucky dame,
Ability in her disability, won herself a name.
The girl prospered as heavens smiled again,
An honest co-worker married her and wiped away her pain.

But wouldn’t her life been better,
Had there been love, kindness and joy?
Oh mankind, give woman a right to her life,
Give her an identity other than mother, child and wife!


~ Dedicated to all the children who lost their lives in the Kumbakonam tragedy.
*This poetry was inspired by an article written by Ramya Kannan in The Hindu

The dazzle and shine of the sunlight,
Woke her up on Friday morning bright.

A bath, a prayer, a quick book-check,
Powder on the face and beads around the neck.
Heavy bag across the shoulder where pig tails danced,
Out to her school- she ran, she pranced.

Eyes abrim with hope for that one word of praise,
For all the work done the past two days.
A joy for the morning, a joy for the day ahead,
A joy that was visible in her very tread!
The big eyes danced in hopeful light,
That she’ll stand victor and show the world her might!

She squeezed through the school door,
Where a huge crowd did throng.
Her greets to her dear friends
Drowned by the school dong.

Soon began the roll-call, soon began the class,
Soon did they recite their Tamil lines in a mass.
And suddenly that big spark did emerge,
Embracing the thatched roofs, on, it did surge.
Panic here, panic there and all ran about,
With ‘Help! Help!’ ‘Save me’ and a million other shouts.

Oh hours later all of them lay in silence,
The big-eyed girl, among them, her face-rigid and tense.
Her unburnt eyes were wide and in them could be read,
Pain, disappointment, panic and dread!

Oh dear girl! Your dreams are no more!
You’ll no more see victory, no more see a dawn!

...and may there be Light!

Light,shine into the soul,
As you dazzle outside
Sweep off the cobwebs
Them that gnaw at my spirit.

Exhilarate,emanate and express
That ultimate feeling called bliss
Joy be to the world this lighted night
Let every life be filled with happiness bright!”


My dreams soar up,
I look up at the silver shine
All around me is beauty
My eyes fill me with wonder light

And as I shift gaze down
I fall, fall and fall below
Passing the star the moon,et al!
The wonder disappears in a flash of light

I fall on the ground
Hard on my face
I’m bruised
I’m hurt
I’m mentally pained

I look above
See no shine
No beauty either
Nothing but a blazing firmament

Burning through my eyes
Burning every fibre
Burning a hole
Through my very soul

I walk and walk
But find no calm
The mind is still haunted
By those dizzying heights
Those heights I touched,oh
For a wee moment
But what a moment that was!

And now all I have to my hand’s grasp is dull, bald and boring
Nothing to waken the senses
Nothing to interest the mind
Nothing to make the heart leap
Oh nothing save nothing, is mine!

I want, I want, I want many many things
I get few, I fly, I fall down hard
The skies are where my heart is,
The earth is where my feet!

And still the eyes look above,
Knowing that the end is defeat
My longings-so many
My dreams-countless
A few do bloom
A few fall down
I go to great heights
And see great lows
My life-a see-saw, in disguise.

Oh dear, how long, how long, I ask?
This highs and joy and lows and naught?

The soul cringes,
The heart pains
The mind is numb
The body does ache

Oh dear oh dear
Grief struck her blow
I’m depressed, beyond words
I’m oh-so-low!
Oh, Life is forever,a Mirage!

July 19, 2008


Finality of finalities! We had to head to the studios for the grueling last-minute work. Jibi and I went only at 11 after the long arduous work. My partner, seeing my overnight brilliant progress, was more relaxed and FINALLY believed in my capacity to ACTUALLY finish work! :P

The last day, Ashwini and I went into hysterics laughing at random things. Blame it on the pressure or the fact that we ACTUALLY managed so much work. It might have been her overnight understanding of REVIT or my success at the plans. But the final day saw us actually working in unison rather than look at the differences and bicker.

It felt nice to be normal :)

Eddie and Rahul were working too much and trying to scare me. Devendra was doing views after views. Uma was way way way ahead in his work! Saarang and Kasturi had some helluva drafting done. Jibi was in hyperscared state. I was calmly working and having a nice time yapping with Saumya and working at once! :D

We managed our work somehow, submitted it, collected our train refunds and then headed for the celebratory dinner party that they hosted for our benefit. Yummy food after hard work and relaxed atmosphere after frenzy really had an intoxicating effect on me.

I was in great spirits, nicely fed on paneer and gobi manchurian and hothothot paranthas. Two nice round gulab jamuns and some yummy motichoor laddus later, I was in the most relaxed of moods. As the professors began to talk to the students, a few lazy souls, myself included, slithered away to yap. Saumya and I got so bored, we began to walk around idly and also ate some strawberry icecream just to while away time! :D

With permission to watch a movie and with Pankha and Eddie(alongwith Audi and Rahul) fooling me into signing for the projector, we all settled down to watch 'Jaane Tu ya Jaane na'. Sadly, that was project-fooling-us-number-2 and we ended up watching(me-sleeping) through the movie called 'Fool's Gold'. Although the hero was dumb-hot types, I couldn't quite watch it as I was so tired and exhausted in mind and body. I couldn't even get up and go 'cos those mad boys had fooled me into taking responsibility for the projector! HMPH!

So after a nice dozing off and catching bits of screen footage of the dumb-hot looking __________, I returned the projector and went back to the room to hear scary tales of IIT suicides from Jibi. Shit scared from that second, we both refused to go near the toilet without the other standing outside keeping guard from whatever-that-be! :(

Somehow... we slept!


July 14, 2008


The last-but-one day of submission. We were asked to assemble at the Seminar hall for a small lec-dem on Resist software followed by the post-workshop quiz. And then we had to head to the studios.

Our pyramid concept seemed to pose troubles and my partner was going beyond hyper! :P And I was slightly losing my cool but considering how she was not familiar with computer execution of projects, I understood her position and kept calm.

More MP3 wars and food and glasses after glasses of nimbupaani went by and work was going snail pace. :D

I began to make sincere efforts to get to know everyone in the group. I began to pick conversations, get introduced and get chatty much to my poor partner's escalating blood pressure.

Work officially ceased at 12. Jibi and I however burnt oil post-midnight in our hostel rooms and slept a couple of hours. We got up again at 5 and resumed work till 10 am the next morning!


Day 3 was supposed to be a complete intensive studio sessions-with-breaks type. We headed directly to the never-ending drawing studio and the ice-cold computer labs to work.

The lemon juice(made mildly bitter by squeezing it too much), the terrible coffees and worst-ever chais with some yummy biscuits sustained us.

Eddie, Bhasker, Munazza and I took up the round table and bonded like hell. If Nimbupaani made Eddie sweet enough to get me every possible thing to eat at regular intervals, our songs brought a DJ-war between us. This would make Monazza clutch her hair in despair and ask us to shut up and Bhasker would keep a bottle of water in front and urge us to "doob mar"-ofy in the "chunnu-bhar ka paani"! :P And trust me to hear that as "chulha bar paani"! :P

Between Jibi's exasperated Tamil dialogues, Saranya's constant help and Saumya's frequent "I give up"s, we had FUN working! :D

The early-dinner on paneer rolls and dew and real juice and cakes with Nishita, Saranya, Jibi(DUH!), Saumya, Aditi, Rahul and Umadhar turned out to be super fun! Not only did we eat like there's no tomorrow and go berserk talking, we also confirmed plans to go for 'Jaane Tu ya Jaane na' and tour the city!

Work ceased officially at 12. We hit the canteen in the girls hostel for some food and I ended up staying a while with Aditi and Saumya talking. Nidhi, who works in Kanpur and stays at IIT-K, was giving us a list of places to go to. Hit the bed at around 1-ish.



More lecture sessions followed this day- not as great as the first day's, or maybe I was just plain tired and sleepy. I have this tendency to run a temperature or keep dozing off if I haven't had my beauty sleep of a minimum of 6 hrs everyday! :P

Doze I did in the lectures and hence, I'm really not in a position to talk of its contents. Mr.Suresh Ailawadi, a godfather of sorts to all the participants- making sure their stay was comfortable, sending taxis to pick and drop etc- made a rule. A wonderful rule, if I may add. He made it compulsory that we don't sit next to a person from the same state/city and keep shuffling after every lecture.

This way, we got acquainted with people easier and also got introduced to all the people they knew! For the lecture on Day2, I sat next to Aditi from Chandigarh's supposed snoot-sabha! (Boy... I want to hit myself hard for being so wrong in my judgement about them!!! :P ) Aditi turned out to be just the opposite and was a very dear sweet girl. I was introduced to so-thought-super-snob Saumya who turned out to be my soul sister!!! :D

We began bondingbondingbonding. I met Jyoti from Lucknow who turned out to have attended the SAME workshop in X class as I had!!! I got introduced to Umadhar and Saarang too.

Saarang was this fellow I instantly became friends with. I mean, he was one of those people you see and you KNOW you're gonna be great friends with!!! :) hehe. I told him that too! :P Trust me to do that. And we realised that he was a Saggitarian and I was an Arien- and BINGO, they are supposed to be the best of friends according to Linda Goodman!!! :D

Point to be noted here: I had not yet been acquainted with Himanshu, Hemant or Vishwanath and I thought Rahul was either too introverted and quiet or a super snoot! :P Ditto thoughts about 'Eddie' Aditya and Umadhar(although we DID speak).

We had some intense studio sessions where we were supposed to be working. My partner was a hyper-tensed super-scared female and I am this procrastination-is-my-middle-name type when it comes to architectural design! :P So you can imagine how many arguments, near-tears fights and fissures we had. But valiantly, both of us stood by one another, made some adjustments and flexibly finished our designs. It took both of us immense strength and a lot of letting-go-of-egos to get the work done and I'm mighty proud of her and me! :) Best part- we did multiple designs!!! And we both worked on both!!! :D

Studios, food and tea sessions brought Saumya, Aditi and our previously formed gang of Audi, Pankha(dear Pankaj who's this bro-come-buddy to me!), Nishita, Saranya, Jibi and I, together. A visit to a boring structures lab revealed Aditi's prowess of the Tamil language and my god, we had a roaring laugh over her expletives!!! :D

A city tour followed, where I met the rest of the junta who were to be a part of our gang- Rahul, Himanshu, Hemant and Vishwanath. And again, I ate my words about the CCA group! :P Rahul just takes time to open up with people! He ain't a snoot! LOL! To think I thought SAUMYA was one!!! GOD!!! :D

The city tour was restricted to two things- the JK Birla Mandir and the Naveen Market. The rain further restricted the city tour's extent. We were drenched to the skin and yet had a jolly good time! :)

At the end of Day 2, we were all acquainted. And I was discovering what delightful people the others were too! :)



Reach we did for the stipulated 8:30 am seminar, but at the wrong seminar hall! After some searching, calling and exercising my thoota-phoota Hindi speaking skills(sans Tamil accent! Ha! I'm proud of the fact that everyone I have spoken to so far, has told me "tumhari hindi sahi hain. Aur tamil accent bhi nahin!!!" Arrey waah! ;D ), we found the right place.

After registration and inauguration and a few mutual exchanges, we set off for the ever-necessary 'group photograph'. At that time I was like, "God knows how many of these people I'm ever gonna remember. But yeah...whatever! I'll pose!".

Well, for once I was mistaken and GLAD I was! :D

Enter seminar hall after the photo shoot, and we have a monstrous quiz which I had no clue about(once more I was mistaken. I scored a decent 14 on 25! :P). The sessions soon started and we had interesting lecture hours with earthquakes, structural behaviour during quakes, techniques to prevent collapse etc. Then the dreaded design problem was introduced. We were to design a multi-storey residential complex with around 160-190 houses in the span of 2.5 days!!!

And for this we were divided into pairs to work. Nishita(the cake-holding Guwahati girl from the previous night's convo near the room-without-the-fan) sweetly asked me to be her partner. But then there began this whole big issue as to 'partners kaise choose karein'. Deciding on lots, I finally ended with Ashwini from AOA,Mumbai a III yr student.

This whole partner-separating session stemmed off some issues, which I was asked to resolve, as Nishita found me the 'most reasonable person of the lot'. From then began a time where responsibility began to be thrust upon me and people began to think I was some self-appointed leader and hated my guts! :P

In the process of resolving Nishita's group mates' issue, we became acquainted with fellow-tamil speaking Saranya from Chennai and the entire Guwahati College junta. We also got to speak to this super-snooty-cum-i'm-too-intelligent-to-be-talking-to-you-looking peeps from Chandigarh.

We somehow resolved the issue and ended up going for Adithya(Audi's) birthday treat at the restaurant near the IIT Supermarket. Some yummy paranthas and panner guzzled down with fanta-later, we realised this was the very same brat-pack that refused us answers the previous night in their Audi-budday-celebrations!

Chuckling, we bonded over the bitchings and food and took some crazy snaps(on the road, at the traffic police-ka-stand, with random kids who thought we were victims of some hit-and-run on campus etc) and established a wonderful friendship! :)

A movie on the Mexico quake followed where AGAIN I happened to walk in late and hence was entrusted with operating the projector!!! Some more 'god this girl is so exasperating' looks were passed. I am so used to people hating me in the beginning, that I ignored those looks! :P

Day one ended with people knowing who Sandhya was and hating her for her supposed 'self-made leader' attitude! :(


(written a week ago)

It was a great surprise when my lecturer called me and asked me if I was interested in applying for a "Workshop for Earthquake Resistant Design Practices" to be held at IIT-Kanpur. I was pretty excited! For one, it was going to clearly be the first Architecture stuff I was going to participate in. Even in the NASAs and ZONASAs, all I did was take part in the culturals, writing or such on-stage events. But nothing architecture except for the trophy works.

Secondly, this was an individual participation thing- which was thrilling and confidence-boosting. I could learn something and get more direction as to what to do for my thesis.

With all the above in mind, I sent a filled-in form. And surprises of surprises, I DID get selected. So now, I am in Kanpur, with my friend and class mate Jibi and we are having a nice time...

Well, I should have added 'now' when calling it a nice time. It didn't quite start that way. We had a really horrible train journey which got extended by 3 hours for 3 reasons- a)we ran over a buffalo(R.I.P. Buffalo), 2) the engine burnt off and 3)a rock got stuck beneath the train and had to be removed by chiseling on it.

To top it all, we realized that the womenfolk of the nation have no option but to forever carry a pack of sanitary napkins every once they take a train! Not one convenience store in any of the stations that we got down at. Exasperation and anger reached new heights. It must be made imperative for every train to have a sanitary napkin dispenser or a convenience store should be present in every platform!

And finally, when we DID reach Kanpur, it was only at 11:30 pm. One must remember that this city sleeps off by 11. With rumours about Kanpur being the i-shall-carry-guns-around-and-may-shoot-you-down-anytime blinking at the back of the mind, we desperately searched around for the cab that was sent to pick us up. Many cabwallahs creepily and uncannily came and asked us- "IIT Kanpur jaana hain?" Evading all those omniscient cabwallahs, we finally found the one meant to pick us up and discovered a 'SandhIya(yes with that obnoxious I) and a 'ZIVI'(instead of a Jibi) placard in his hand.

The drive to IIT was scary- deserted roads, very few people loafing around and some creepiness lurking in the air. Our Brijesh Bhai(cabwallah) was a very naive fellow. We reached Kanpur at 12:00 precisely and were very sweetly dropped in Guest House-1(GH-1) instead of Girls Hostel-1(also the same damned GH-1) and so had to lug our baggage(that definitely weighs twice as much as I do) all the way back on the clean deserted streets of the IIT-campus. But that is NOT why he's naive. He was very innocently asking me if Kolkatta was near Chennai!!! No wonder foreigners used to refer to India as 'land of snake-charmers and elephants and diseases'. Our own people are so much in the dark!

Somehow we reached the destined GH-1 at around 12:15 to see three girls and two guys jumping near the entrance and ignoring our "excuse this the girls' hostel". After a nice mental cursing, we signed in. But well, doom it is that befalls the doomed! Like, DUH!

Enter Sandhya and Jibi into the room and we notice we get no beds, no pillows and well... no fan!!! After almost 2 whole days/40 hours of sweating it out in a filthydirtyirritatingslowdarned train, we lost it! We JUST lost it. We demanded a nice room with fan and get we did. Just that we still haven't got the beds and blankets. But 'looking at the condition of the one mattress we did get, we decided against asking for another! :P

We met some people with a yummy licked-off-all-the-cream-proclaiming box of chocolate cake from Guwahati. We didn't realise THEN that we were to see a lot of them in the coming days and they were the same brats who did not answer our questions of " this the girls' hostel?"

After a nice long shower and some frantic calls, we left to grab some grub at the canteen in the hostel that is open till 2 am. A yummy paneer parantha and a bottle of Tropicana Twister(I have literally been drunk on it all the while! So much so that the aunty who runs the canteen takes out a bottle when she sees me!)We hit the bed at 2 am, only to be reminded by our organiser that we need to assemble at 8:30 am the next day!!!

June 27, 2008


As I snugly sat in my sofa watching a nice Bengali movie called 'Mahanagar'(a Satyajit ray classic) and while my mother was dilligently cutting up some spinach for the oncoming dinner of dal and jeera rice, the earth shook!!!

As I live near the railway station, our initial reaction was a very calm- "is it a goods train?" My sister sitting in the same room barely felt a thing!!! By the time we realised that it, indeed and unfortunately so, a quake, the jitters began!!!

I have this weird giddiness after every quake. I don't know if it is a physical reaction to the quake or a mental state that translates to a state of light-headedness! But I've been a little dizzy ever since!

Just two calls came in after the quake. Half the people didn't feel it and don't know of it yet! The news channels haven't started their, "Chennaiyil bhoogambam; makal padatram" rounds yet!

although extremely jittery, my mom continued to cut the spinach and I resumed watching Mahanagar. Four quakes and a tsunami later, we are well aware of the futility of life, I guess. And also, we were hoping that our building experiences a million tremors a day(due to the trains) that one more wouldn't quite damage it.

I AM scared. But well, one can only hope it was a minor earthquake and nothing happened to life and property anywhere in the world!

God bless the world.

(P.S.: It does seem uncanny that this quake happens just after Dasavatharam talks of tsunamis! Sheesh! Why can't Kamal Hassan make movies about global harmony and universal peace?! *rolls eyes*)


UPDATE: Quake hits Andaman Islands. Recorded 6.7 in the Richter scale. Tremors were felt in Nungambakkam and Koyambedu area and many other parts of Chennai!


June 25, 2008

Looking within...


...I find a million dreams

...a little firefly

...a gentle lilting breeze

...a never ending song

...a thousand feet dancing

Looking within...

         I find...

                     maybe there is a meaning in being after all....

June 23, 2008


Words seem to fail me when it comes to how much this bunch means to me! Every once I meet them, they reinforce my faith in life. The elusive happiness that we are all searching for-these people help me see it!

I don’t know if it was God’s way of telling me he cares for me or if it was just good ol’ Dame Luck- I knew them through unexpected means and am I glad!!!

One of the best bunch of friends I have, one of the most reliable and funniest lot too! When I do whacky things, they won’t laugh- because they too will want to do the same! Be it watching Gabtun movies together, making mad gifts, talking Rahman 24X7, playing Harry Potter quizzes at Barista, breaking guitar strings :P, fighting on who’s got the best/worst handwriting- innocent, perverted, normal, abnormal and weird- together, we just live life like it should be!

Known as the official thanks giver of the group, I really want to thank that ‘whatever’ that has brought this beautiful friendship about. They are my cushions- whenever life fails to make me feel happy, it just takes a moment of meeting them to set things right! :)

June 16, 2008


I work for storytrails as a storyteller. I've not yet begun work, as such as I'm still getting trained. I have also begun contributing to the storytrails blog. Do check it out and leave your comments there:



June 08, 2008

THE Search

A lonely searching voice within,
Seeks to find an echo nearby.
Again and again, it breaks melody,
Only to find mocking ears.

Ears that shut down on the music
as it issues forth in sweet dulcet tones
The melancholic strain seems not to melt any listener's heart
Oh! But where is any listener around?!

The music stops, though it must go on
Sometimes a distant aching strain is traced
The heart no more can survive the isolation
Whither is the echo?!
Whither is a similar strain?!
One more doesn't make a symphony
Let the music be heard again!

PHOTO COURTESY: Bart van Slobbe on Flickr


I blinked my eyes quick, asking my human camera to capture the breathtaking view! God clicked from above too! And then, roared with loud laughter!

Hills- bathed in twilight. Light! Misty views. A crack of lightening. Thunder. Copse of trees. The valleys below looking like million glittering gems were strewn! A heavenly scent- a mix of trees, wet earth, rain, dried leaves, slush. Overcast skies. A world bathed in blue. Hairpin bends. The valley alternating with buttresses holding back the excited hill soil. Contoured face of the hills further hand-moulded to make way for vehicles.

Threatening bundles of clouds-sagging with the water within- resembling pregnant women with their bulge; looking menacingly at the earth in one of her mood swings!

Ah… the hills are an alluring constantly enticing lot!

It looked like a setting of some horror movie- an estate house- with its clichéd asphalt stone masonry and curtained windows; a lonely guy sitting on the doorstep; the hill steeply climbing up. And as you opened your mouth wide to exclaim on what a lovely setting it made, lightening cleaved the sky and thunder bellowed like an evil laughter. Were they celebrating Halloween up there in the heavens?!

Pitch darkness. Hilltop. Seven human beings standing. Looks like no others exist in the world save us! An ethereal feeling. The heavens huddle together for a good cry. A streak of lightening. The Chinese entrance to the Pagoda Point gets illuminated. Suddenly it feels as bright as day. Brilliant luminous with a shine at the edges. We look down at the valley. Once more it looks like God has opened his bag of gems very clumsily and spilt and scattered its contents- necklaces of diamonds, rubies, amethysts lay lined below!

Once more lightening strikes. We are urged to take a walk till the tip. But the fear multiplies like the lightening! We are on top of the hill and surrounded by trees- two things not too encouraging for us to risk it. Moreover, wild bisons were supposed to be on the prowl in the vicinity and known to chase and attack in the night. And it was 9 in the night but looking like midnight.

But oh, we were almost near the tip of the hill and the whole world lay strewn- in its myriad colours at my feet!

Being on top of the world literally DOES make you feel near heaven- giving you an out-of-the-world experience!

Man’s power- to have shaped nature according to his whim- created a settlement on top of a hill- breaking mountains, rolling off stones, holding back the rest of the hill from sliding down in jury; oh- such a proud yet humbling feeling!

And at that moment- at the top of the hill- somehow my life seemed to have clinched a new ‘height’, fulfilled an old wish, attained more meaning and somehow- a better person seemed to have emerged…

May 10, 2008

a random thought...

You are alone in life...

...but then there are memories
and people-hopping in and out

to make sure there are rarely times when you feel totally desolate...

Cheers to God's lovely social structure! :P

March 09, 2008


Considering the girl who tagged me is someone with whom I can associate myself sooo well(Nithya), this is gonna sound so much like what she wrote!

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say To People Right Now (names withheld) :

1) You don't know how much you mean to me! You're the one person who means the most to me in this world. I'd do anything for you.Yeah, it IS tough to believe when I don't even do the little things you ask me to! :P Sometimes I think, maybe I'm NOT the kind of person you wanted. Sometimes I could see pride in your eyes when you look at me. I wish I KNEW what you think of me. No matter who goes away from my life, I can manage. But without you, I'd be nothing! I've been cruel, horrible, lazy, mean, stubborn and more to you. But I still LOVE you! :)

2) I miss you so much. I cried the other day when you were so sweet when we chatted! :) I can't wait for you to come back and dry my hair and bug me and yell and scream at me when you are here! :D Love you!

3) You're the apple of my eye. I might not be too over-expressive with you alone! I don't know why but I DO take it for granted that you KNOW how important you are to me. I want you to have everything I never did. i want to gift the world to you. i wish I could be a better person so you can look up to me. I wish I were more sensible like you! You are like my kid. :P and yes, I WILL BOSS OVER YOU! :P

4) I wish I'd met you before, been a part of your life before so that there might have been a chance. Sometimes I wish... oh crap! I hate you for waking into my life so late! But I hope there is hope!

5) You are the meanest creature I know. I hate you for treating me the way you did and I wish I could hurt you back too! But I know I wouldn't.

6) I'm so glad I know you! :) You make me smile at life and trust that there still is some goodness left! - dedicated to a few ppl! :) not just one!

7) I believe in miracles now. I believe in fairy tale endings because of what happened to you! :) You have no clue how much I prayed and wished everything will be alright! I'm GLAD everything is so beautiful now! :) I'm gonna miss you terrible! i can't even imagine. Yes, I can't! and I KNOW I'll miss you more than you would! :( and I HATE you for going to stay away from me! I wish you had more time so we could spend it together. you're so busy. The time I used to get, someone else does!The someone deserves it totally! I can't even hate that someone! damn!!! Cos that someone's just-so-nice! :( no messages anymore. no late night talks. I miss it all! I don't say it cos I dont want to sound like a spoilt selfish brat! But it's true! I miss all the times we used to have. I want such times again!!!! :( Because, after a few months, life will become irrevocable!

8) I wish you never grew up, kiddo! You used to trust life so much! you used to laugh more. Now.. you've changed so much. of course, you can better face the world now. But well.. sometimes I wish you STILL did trust in birthdays and doing crazier things, being a little more open-armed! I wish you still were the girl you used to be! But I guess, it's all for the better. Love you, kiddo!

9) I hate change! And you knew that. I told you NOTHING will change. You got scared and you ran off. Never to return in the same way. You are so different now. so distant. It hurts that you did not value me enough and you just tossed everything off and went away. Was I just a timepass for you? I wish you'd stop imagining things and be normal now. I'm matured in my head now. It's high time you get some maturity up there too!

10) I wish i could tell you how fake, irresponsible, hollow and annoying you are! Go get a life! And make sure this time round you don't cheat and take people for granted! URGH! you disgust me!

Nine Things About Yourself
1) I crave for people at times and I crave solitude at times. People tend to think I am a social butterfly. I am not exactly one (Quoted exactly from Nithya's blog. It's absolutely applicable to me!)

2) I am constantly plagued by the fear of seclusion! I'm pretty insecure in that way!

3) I am greedy for new experiences, new friends, new books, new material possessions etc! :D

4) I am extreeeeeeeemely fussy about food! :P

5) I can be silent, too! :P

6) I think and analyse things too much. I tell myself I'll stop. But i never do.

7) I love being busy and filling every second of existence with activities. It makes me feel GOOOOD about life! :)

8) I love it when people reach out to me the way i do to them.

9) I expect too much. I'm consciously trying to curtail it.

Eight Ways To Win Your Heart

1) Have a great conversation with me! I'll be floored!

2) Do something JUST for me- cook, write a letter, think of me and message, call me saying 'i felt like talking to you', something, anything! :) the fact that i mean something to you makes my day! :)

3) Chocolates! :D ferrero rocher, dairy milk, crackle especially! :D

4) Ask me to entertain you when you are bored(straight out of Nithya's :P)

5) take me on a long walk or insist I spend time with you! :)

6) smile at me wholeheartedly! :)

7) Be candid to me. Be yourself. I loathe artificiality. (Nithya's again!:P)

8) Let's both do something crazy- write shitty poems, war dance in the terrace, invent a new language, etc! :P

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

1) Why do i confuse myself so much?

2) Am i doing right?

3) Was I destined to do this ?

4) Why do I have trouble in accepting things ?

5) Why do I get emotionally attached ? Why do I entertain false hopes ?

6) Are people taking me for granted? Do they genuinely care for me? Am i being a little-too-nice to everyone?

7) Am I asking for too much out of life?

Six Things You Wish You Never Did

1) Some words, meant well, but that caused someone to forget the lovely friendship we had shared till then. I've tried a million times to patch it up. But somehow, thigs have changed and it still hurts that I lost one of the most true friends I had and treasured! I wish things would change back to normal... but i know it might not happen!

2) I trusted people. And they were untrustworthy!

3) I wish I had never stopped my swimming and keyboard classes! I wish I had learnt dance professionally

4)I wish I never grew up! :(

5) I wish people would understand that I don't OVER-REACT, but that's just MY WAY of reacting!

6) I wish I could rewrite a few chapters of my life... undo a lot of things, change a few and make myself more happy!

Five Turn-Off’s

1) Artificiality
2) Irresponsible people taking responsibilities
3) Unfairness
4) Inequality
5) Meanness

Four Turn-On’s

1) A nice start to the day... like a slight drizzle, some friend's message/call, chilly breeze, purple dawns, nice dreams, birthday mornings when amma wakes me up saying 'Happy birthday'! :) , Vishu mornings when I close my eye, stumble across and look at gold! :D

2) Simple and sweet and beautiful li'l nothings! :)

3) smiles :)

4) great conversations! :)

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die

Too many things! :) globe-trot, publish a book, be called a good human being to name just three!

Two Smileys that Describe You



One Confession

I do feel lonely at times, and feel unimportant, useless and a huge failure in a few particular ways!

I tag- whoever wants to take it up! :P

February 27, 2008


Sometimes you KNOW you need to blog.. to write something and fill in those really low moments when you seem to be so unsure of everything you do/talk/think! Weirdly, from the morning, many little incidents have been piling up-insignificant in isolation- but together making me feel 'oh-god-WHAT-am-I-doing-in-life?'!!!

So many choices made that are making me confused.
So many choices ebing made that are making me unsure of the next step I take!
So many choices ahead!

Sometimes I wish I KNEW what i'm supposed to do! People accuse you so often-so easily! Some in jest, some so seriously and some-just 'cos they did not have anything better to talk about! And sometimes, although it's not supposed to hurt you NO-MATTER-WHAT, it DOES hurt and your stupid shrinking mind thinks of it all day and ruins your mindframe at the end of the day.

I BADLY feel like taking a few days off from everything and EVERYONE and travel! I can't wait for my next course to begin in 1.5 yrs...

I'm not depressed! I am just feeling that sinking, totally empty, kinda dull aching feeling inside. No one can help. I need to help myself. And when this paralytic benumbing phase seizes you, it's kind of difficult to gather yourself and start your normal work!

Sometimes I wish i knew what life was all about...

February 20, 2008

My dear dear D-O,

It is extremely unfair if I begin this letter with a 'hope this finds you in the best of spirits'! I have shamelessly and unceremoniously ditched you all along. A pathetic excuse of 'not feeling like blogging' shall never quite compensate for this prolonged silence.

So I seek no apology nor do I write any more reasons!

Before you freak out thinking I have once and forever decided to dump you, here's the truth- NO bloggie! NEVER shall that be even a possibility!

I am back! And I've decided to blog more frequently. Of course, you KNOW how I feel about filler posts and stuff. I shall not resort to them at the maximum. But in case, in case, I feel like making some meaningless noise, I shall put in some filler posts like that pathetic 'Orkut fotune cookie' post that I had put up previous to this.

I have not been in any 'non-writing' mode. In fact, I've started a new blog! Now now.. don't you be threatened. You share space with these 5 sister bloggie friends and you may well be assured that you still are the first, my very best and most priceless bloggie of them all. Now, Stop grinning! :P

Going back to that 'new blog', it's actually a joint venture by 3 of us. Oh...the usual suspects- Arvind and Anoodha. It is a movie blog. Yes, ONE MORE of them that floats in blogsville. The only difference being- nothing at all! :D The three of us update it at our convenience. We don't write amazing reviews nor do we write
anything of great quality. But it is OURS, we're constantly learning and improving(I hope!).

So in case you want to go sneak-a-peek at your new bloggie buddy, here you go, D-O....
and the Blog's called 'Montages..'

Did you know I'm going to seriously take up writing and journalism as a career? Seems strange, eh, after 5 whole years of architecture?! Well, the FIVE years itself aren't over yet! In one way, it seems to have stretched a hell of a lotlonger than for the rest and in another way it seems to have just flown past. Just an year and 2 months left now in architecture.

And then... I shall flutter my wings in the new horizon. I trust in God to keep the wind steady and the flight-not too difficult! And most of all- I trust in myself to be able to continue my passion in a more serious manner!

Somebody had told me,randomly in some conversation, D-O, that sportsmen are really lucky to be taking up seriously what others look at as a hobby! That's so true. 
I never quite have forgotten those 
words although it skips me as to WHO told me that! Apart from the immense influential changes that have washed over me, I've also realised that, at the bottom of my heart, I remain and always shall remain- a writer. I cannot be separated from words. Whether it's good writing or bad is for others to decide. But writing cures me of EVERYTHING! :)

I'm glad at this delayed clarity of thought. Although many feel I've 'WASTED' 5 years, there have been nothing more fruitful than these! :)

Well, I've bored you enough. I promise to come back later and refresh you with something better and more sensible.

Till then,
Cheers from
The Dreamy Dryad :)

© Dryad's Peak
Maira Gall