It takes very little things to make me happy... But big things to make me totally sad... but i become moody often!I'm just this 'extreme' kind of person, as you all might have figured out. At present, for extremely simple things, i'm THRILLED to Bits!!! One bad exam sent me into the depths of despair. But when it's followed by an extremely simple one that you do well, wow... What amazing things it does to you! Almost rejuvenates your self! And follow it immediately with another nice 'chummy chummy' time with your friends! Two of my Dear dear close friends- GAJU(Dosti) and Uma(Pappa) had their birthday today and we cut a cake just after the exam and had a fantabulous time!!!
Met a couple of my very dear seniors- Meanie(one of my best friends!) and Kums anna! That thrilled me to bits!!! And end it with a lovely long talk with my sweeto Nanditha! :D Aww... I couldn't have asked for better!
God... Thanks for this perfectly blissful day! :)
And...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAJU N UMA!!!
hugs to u!!!
>:D<
May 11, 2006
Fear...
"Fear is the original sin," wrote John Foster. "Almost all the evil in the world has its origin in the fact that some one is afraid of something. It is a cold, slimy serpent coiling about you. It is horrible to live with fear; and it is of all things degrading."
~The Blue Castle
~ Chapter 5
~Lucy Maude Montgomery
May 10, 2006
To Anita…
I don’t know if you people saw the article on the paper about the murder of a 19 year old girl named Anita. She was my close friend and I was devasted and shocked when I heard the news the next day morning from my friend!
We studied in the same Architecture training class under Mr.Solomon Vedamuthu. There were 4 of us who were very close during that time. Reshma-my good friend from my class, Aparna-from St.michaels ,myself and Anita Sharon- again from St.Michaels. We always sat together during classes, came early, left late, discussed books, music, movies, and almost everything under the sun! Our friendship was so beautiful… we were chums from the second we met! We did not have to explain things between us. We just understood… We had many lovely hours and many memorable talks! We used to giggle together, exchange books, and even gave special names to one another. It was a beautiful one and a half month… I called Aparna-Lavendar and Reshma was Rocky(tom boyish that she was!), I was named Humpty Dumpty and I called Anita-Iris and sometimes Isis( I came to know just yesterday that Isis was the Egyptian Goddess of Death!).
Anita is an ever-smiling, cheerful girl(I WILL not talk of her in the past tense! I can’t…). I’ve never seen her sad or even unhappy! She always has the one word of encouragement, the beautiful smile that she is known for, the pleasant ringing laughter… she is like a sweet angel- always by your side and praying for you silently… She is very prayerful and on Jan 15 she had sent me a beautiful message… I loved it so much that till date, I haven’t deleted it… I’m glad I did not…
“No matter how softly you whisper a prayer, God surely listens, understands and knows the hopes and fears you keep in your heart, for when you trust in His love, miracles happen…”
She believed in God and still does… Though I don’t know why He did this to her… brutally snuffed her life…
She was the one who lent me ‘Magic for Marigold’ and ‘Emily climbs’-two masterpieces of L.M.Montgomery. Emily Climbs till date happens to be one of my favourite LMM works! She was the one who spoke at length about Rebecca and, made me buy it. She and I have had discussions on ‘Jo’s boys’ and ‘Good Wives’ and ‘Little Men’. We both loved Enid Blyton. Appu also used to join in all these discussions! She came by her bike to the class and we all huddled around it after class, spoke a while and then only left.
Even after the classes got over, we stayed in touch, mailing each other, messaging and talking too! We met during the exams and later at the counseling. She got into SAP and I-into Hindustan. Even then we stayed in touch… unfailingly!
Once there was an essay writing competition on ‘Have Gandhiyan Principles lost their value in today’s world?’ She messaged me at around 8 in the night informing about this and adding-‘Today’s the last day. I want you to send it.’ She always goes the extra mile for others! I called her up, spoke for a while, sent the essay and mailed her a copy too. I had argued that Gandhian Principles have NOT lost ground today. She replied- after reading- that she KNEW this was exactly what I would write and I had written the same style she had expected me to!
I was so thrilled that there was someone who KNEW my style of writing! I didn’t even know I had one! Then she told me that she reads my blog regularly. I was so thrilled!!!
We met last September at the Zone NASA meet at SRM College. She came to me and told-‘why did you put such a depressing, morbid post in your blog? It’s JUST NOT YOU to not be cheerful! You’re full of happiness and you should always write happy things only!’ Excuse me this once Anita!
There was a debating competition in Zone NASA. It was quite a prestigious one, second only to the SIDC(South India Design Contest). I was taking part and so was Kirutiga(my friend from DAV matric who was my school van mate and Anita’s college class mate). She came, missing the other competitions, just to watch the two of us speak. My voice was cracked after all the cheering for my college and I was barely able to talk. Somehow I got selected for the finals and she stayed to watch. I lost, yet she encouraged me very sweetly.
She is not the noisy talking types whom we tend to miss if absent. She is the silent sweet type whose presence fills us with a silent un-worded happiness and sense of calm. She is known to ask questions… and yesterday in the Mass, all that we did was ask why should she have been so brutally murdered? I just couldn’t comprehend! She was lying there silently in the coffin- for the first time unsmilingly! Her face was so different from what it is… all the chemicals had made her so dark... I flinch at the recollection!
Such a beautiful hearted person, such a sweet smiling girl did not deserve this cruel end! No one does! No human has the right to take away another’s life! She never said an ill word to anyone! She was an innocent sweet little thing. She had lost her father a few years back. She had her own store of troubles but yet she bravely smiled through them all! She trusted Him so much and why should He do this to her? I just want to know why? He’ll have a reason for all… I’ll feel better if I know!
I’m in such an emotional turmoil now! The last 4 days have been hectic! 6 may- my friend, a Jain, got married. It was a joyous and unforgettable day. Here was a girl of my age looking forward to simple lovely happiness in matrimony. 7 may- my friend Sheetal, who’d become a sanyasi, came down to Chennai, we went and received her at the station, went to her house, put tilak and all. Here was another girl of my age shunning all worldly desires! 8 May- I went to vote. All day I was drunk at the happiness of having done something to improve society. I was thinking about my future, my rose-tinted dream clouds… talking about my dreams of doing an M.Arch at Arizona State University(one really good place to do your Masters in Arch), my wishes to become a writer, to build a little niche for myself in this world, etc with my ‘zero’ best friend Abishek. Here was a girl with dreams about a future. May 9- I learn my friend was murdered yesterday evening and attend her funeral! Here was a girl whose dreams were snuffed and ruthlessly buried forever.
I’m just so confused, scared and feeling all alone! My parents and sister are at Ahmedabad and I’m with my grandparents who are so concerned about my health being affected due to all this! I made my cousin sleep with me last night. I was fine till 3 in the night- just having a disturbed sleep. At 3, I suddenly was fully awake. My eyes were heavy with crying all day and my limbs were aching. I was very tired physically, but mentally very hysterically active. My mind was just going insane. I felt at a loss to control my thoughts. Suddenly, as if sensing my need, my cousin held my hand and slowly tapped my head and comforted me. I started weeping… but felt so calm at her comforting touch! I couldn’t have lived a sane life after yesterday night if she had not been there… I clung on to her. I became calm instantly and at around 4:40-5:00, drifted off to a disturbed sleep. There’s a 3 o clock every night and I’m scared to face it…
It was really a terrible night that shook me. I still cannot comprehend death. Nor its purpose. I’m just going to hold on to the Pastor’s words at the Mass- ‘God please grant little parts of Anita’s soul for all of us to keep so that she can live through us…’
I hope and pray for her soul to rest in peace and for God to grant us all the strength and courage to bear it and move on just with happy memories of her wonderful ever-living, ever-smiling spirit. So that we celebrate her lovely life rather than mourn for her death!
She’s my Angel Iris forever… my sweet silent companion who’ll always be by my side praying for me and blessing me!
Anita… I miss you my girl…
P.S.: Please pray for her soul to rest in peace. I can’t bear your sympathies and so have disabled comments! I hope you all understand. If you want to do something for me, pray for justice to be brought to her and for newsmongers to shut up and not spread evil gossip about her till they learn the absolute truth! Thank you all!
We studied in the same Architecture training class under Mr.Solomon Vedamuthu. There were 4 of us who were very close during that time. Reshma-my good friend from my class, Aparna-from St.michaels ,myself and Anita Sharon- again from St.Michaels. We always sat together during classes, came early, left late, discussed books, music, movies, and almost everything under the sun! Our friendship was so beautiful… we were chums from the second we met! We did not have to explain things between us. We just understood… We had many lovely hours and many memorable talks! We used to giggle together, exchange books, and even gave special names to one another. It was a beautiful one and a half month… I called Aparna-Lavendar and Reshma was Rocky(tom boyish that she was!), I was named Humpty Dumpty and I called Anita-Iris and sometimes Isis( I came to know just yesterday that Isis was the Egyptian Goddess of Death!).
Anita is an ever-smiling, cheerful girl(I WILL not talk of her in the past tense! I can’t…). I’ve never seen her sad or even unhappy! She always has the one word of encouragement, the beautiful smile that she is known for, the pleasant ringing laughter… she is like a sweet angel- always by your side and praying for you silently… She is very prayerful and on Jan 15 she had sent me a beautiful message… I loved it so much that till date, I haven’t deleted it… I’m glad I did not…
“No matter how softly you whisper a prayer, God surely listens, understands and knows the hopes and fears you keep in your heart, for when you trust in His love, miracles happen…”
She believed in God and still does… Though I don’t know why He did this to her… brutally snuffed her life…
She was the one who lent me ‘Magic for Marigold’ and ‘Emily climbs’-two masterpieces of L.M.Montgomery. Emily Climbs till date happens to be one of my favourite LMM works! She was the one who spoke at length about Rebecca and, made me buy it. She and I have had discussions on ‘Jo’s boys’ and ‘Good Wives’ and ‘Little Men’. We both loved Enid Blyton. Appu also used to join in all these discussions! She came by her bike to the class and we all huddled around it after class, spoke a while and then only left.
Even after the classes got over, we stayed in touch, mailing each other, messaging and talking too! We met during the exams and later at the counseling. She got into SAP and I-into Hindustan. Even then we stayed in touch… unfailingly!
Once there was an essay writing competition on ‘Have Gandhiyan Principles lost their value in today’s world?’ She messaged me at around 8 in the night informing about this and adding-‘Today’s the last day. I want you to send it.’ She always goes the extra mile for others! I called her up, spoke for a while, sent the essay and mailed her a copy too. I had argued that Gandhian Principles have NOT lost ground today. She replied- after reading- that she KNEW this was exactly what I would write and I had written the same style she had expected me to!
I was so thrilled that there was someone who KNEW my style of writing! I didn’t even know I had one! Then she told me that she reads my blog regularly. I was so thrilled!!!
We met last September at the Zone NASA meet at SRM College. She came to me and told-‘why did you put such a depressing, morbid post in your blog? It’s JUST NOT YOU to not be cheerful! You’re full of happiness and you should always write happy things only!’ Excuse me this once Anita!
There was a debating competition in Zone NASA. It was quite a prestigious one, second only to the SIDC(South India Design Contest). I was taking part and so was Kirutiga(my friend from DAV matric who was my school van mate and Anita’s college class mate). She came, missing the other competitions, just to watch the two of us speak. My voice was cracked after all the cheering for my college and I was barely able to talk. Somehow I got selected for the finals and she stayed to watch. I lost, yet she encouraged me very sweetly.
She is not the noisy talking types whom we tend to miss if absent. She is the silent sweet type whose presence fills us with a silent un-worded happiness and sense of calm. She is known to ask questions… and yesterday in the Mass, all that we did was ask why should she have been so brutally murdered? I just couldn’t comprehend! She was lying there silently in the coffin- for the first time unsmilingly! Her face was so different from what it is… all the chemicals had made her so dark... I flinch at the recollection!
Such a beautiful hearted person, such a sweet smiling girl did not deserve this cruel end! No one does! No human has the right to take away another’s life! She never said an ill word to anyone! She was an innocent sweet little thing. She had lost her father a few years back. She had her own store of troubles but yet she bravely smiled through them all! She trusted Him so much and why should He do this to her? I just want to know why? He’ll have a reason for all… I’ll feel better if I know!
I’m in such an emotional turmoil now! The last 4 days have been hectic! 6 may- my friend, a Jain, got married. It was a joyous and unforgettable day. Here was a girl of my age looking forward to simple lovely happiness in matrimony. 7 may- my friend Sheetal, who’d become a sanyasi, came down to Chennai, we went and received her at the station, went to her house, put tilak and all. Here was another girl of my age shunning all worldly desires! 8 May- I went to vote. All day I was drunk at the happiness of having done something to improve society. I was thinking about my future, my rose-tinted dream clouds… talking about my dreams of doing an M.Arch at Arizona State University(one really good place to do your Masters in Arch), my wishes to become a writer, to build a little niche for myself in this world, etc with my ‘zero’ best friend Abishek. Here was a girl with dreams about a future. May 9- I learn my friend was murdered yesterday evening and attend her funeral! Here was a girl whose dreams were snuffed and ruthlessly buried forever.
I’m just so confused, scared and feeling all alone! My parents and sister are at Ahmedabad and I’m with my grandparents who are so concerned about my health being affected due to all this! I made my cousin sleep with me last night. I was fine till 3 in the night- just having a disturbed sleep. At 3, I suddenly was fully awake. My eyes were heavy with crying all day and my limbs were aching. I was very tired physically, but mentally very hysterically active. My mind was just going insane. I felt at a loss to control my thoughts. Suddenly, as if sensing my need, my cousin held my hand and slowly tapped my head and comforted me. I started weeping… but felt so calm at her comforting touch! I couldn’t have lived a sane life after yesterday night if she had not been there… I clung on to her. I became calm instantly and at around 4:40-5:00, drifted off to a disturbed sleep. There’s a 3 o clock every night and I’m scared to face it…
It was really a terrible night that shook me. I still cannot comprehend death. Nor its purpose. I’m just going to hold on to the Pastor’s words at the Mass- ‘God please grant little parts of Anita’s soul for all of us to keep so that she can live through us…’
I hope and pray for her soul to rest in peace and for God to grant us all the strength and courage to bear it and move on just with happy memories of her wonderful ever-living, ever-smiling spirit. So that we celebrate her lovely life rather than mourn for her death!
She’s my Angel Iris forever… my sweet silent companion who’ll always be by my side praying for me and blessing me!
Anita… I miss you my girl…
P.S.: Please pray for her soul to rest in peace. I can’t bear your sympathies and so have disabled comments! I hope you all understand. If you want to do something for me, pray for justice to be brought to her and for newsmongers to shut up and not spread evil gossip about her till they learn the absolute truth! Thank you all!
May 08, 2006
BEING AN ADULT...
It feels so nice to be back again into Blogsville after a brief hiatus... It feels like i've gone prowling about the world and had a wonderful time but ultimately feeling the best when the feet touches familiar ground. You feel a strange sense of peace and happiness... yet you don't seem to get just the right words to express it!
All that apart, Today was an eventful day... I properly felt like an adult when i cast my vote! It felt soooooo good to see the blue indelible ink on my index finger! Like an excited child who's been given his first foreign toy, I keep looking at my finger again and again, gurgling with happiness!!! :D
It feels so good to have been a miniscule tool to help decide my country's political powers! It's not the kind of thrill I get when I win something or when I get published... That's a sweet dear ripple of delight that sprints from my toe to my head! This thrill is one that warms your being and makes you feel at peace with the world as you'e done your duty and how proud at having done that!
I'm glad glad glad... Like Polyanna i could keep chanting 'glad glad glad' forever!!! It felt nice to see my 80 yr old Thatha all excited and ready at 7:00 in the morning to accompany me and cast votes. And what do i see there? Almost a hundred people have cast their votes before us and a hundred in the queue! A queue comprising of grandmas with bent backs and taking post-operative treatments! I was so proud of all of them present there. Whoever influenced them to vote or whoever they voted for- i don't care! All that matters is that they came, bothered to exercise their right to vote!
No matter where i am in this planet,i've decided to ALWAYS try my best to cast my vote unless the situation is unhelpful!
My exams are round the corner and i've not even begun to study! Will be blogging on and off... Thank you so much for staying around and encouraging me and even threatening me to blog! Felt REAL good you all cared so much!
HUGS!!! >:D<
Take care all... And DO EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE!!!
Jai Hind!
P.S.: Maybe I've become slightly rusty in my writing! Do grin and bear with me. I really hope my incoherent string of thoughts will reassemble in time and dish out something worthwhile!!! :D
All that apart, Today was an eventful day... I properly felt like an adult when i cast my vote! It felt soooooo good to see the blue indelible ink on my index finger! Like an excited child who's been given his first foreign toy, I keep looking at my finger again and again, gurgling with happiness!!! :D
It feels so good to have been a miniscule tool to help decide my country's political powers! It's not the kind of thrill I get when I win something or when I get published... That's a sweet dear ripple of delight that sprints from my toe to my head! This thrill is one that warms your being and makes you feel at peace with the world as you'e done your duty and how proud at having done that!
I'm glad glad glad... Like Polyanna i could keep chanting 'glad glad glad' forever!!! It felt nice to see my 80 yr old Thatha all excited and ready at 7:00 in the morning to accompany me and cast votes. And what do i see there? Almost a hundred people have cast their votes before us and a hundred in the queue! A queue comprising of grandmas with bent backs and taking post-operative treatments! I was so proud of all of them present there. Whoever influenced them to vote or whoever they voted for- i don't care! All that matters is that they came, bothered to exercise their right to vote!
No matter where i am in this planet,i've decided to ALWAYS try my best to cast my vote unless the situation is unhelpful!
My exams are round the corner and i've not even begun to study! Will be blogging on and off... Thank you so much for staying around and encouraging me and even threatening me to blog! Felt REAL good you all cared so much!
HUGS!!! >:D<
Take care all... And DO EXERCISE YOUR RIGHT TO VOTE!!!
Jai Hind!
P.S.: Maybe I've become slightly rusty in my writing! Do grin and bear with me. I really hope my incoherent string of thoughts will reassemble in time and dish out something worthwhile!!! :D
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