October 09, 2005


(Title copyrighted strictly under Copyright Act 09-5678A to Sir Abi (Zero) Reddy)

This post is to all those who’ve had frizzy hair all their life! My deepest sympathies and condolences are with you.

Sniff Sniff!
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is a story of an 18 and a half year old girl who always dreamt of straight hair. This girl was born under an unlucky star, a bad omen, you might say! With no pity, The Creator bestowed her with frizzy hair and made her Looooong for straight hair according to the rule-The Other side of the grass is always green!
Actually when she was born, madam ‘elikunju’, (that was how her appa used to call her. Not anymore, duh!!!) had a thicket of hair covering her itsy-bitsy head. This hair, sources say, was quite straight. As she grew up, the hair slowly started to kink and curl around. Neither tears, nor heart-wringing pleadings could move the creator’s stony heart! Neither Sunsilk Curl Control nor Clinic All clear make it ‘smooth and shiny’ as they promised.
Now the girl, I, Sandhya Ramachandran, 18 and half years of age, has been suffering inexplicable pains in relation to this black clinging mass!

In my XI, owing to rules like, ‘if you have hair that drops below your shoulder, you should put double pig tails and fold them up’, I had to cut my long thick hair short! Come on, WHO on earth will like to parade around in pigtails when you’re like way there in the ladder of seniority in school?

Then came college. My hair was still short and I just trimmed it. But now it was not the length that mattered but TEXTURE!!!

It’s my mom’s gift- my unmanageable curls! There are these SHORT curly bits right on top of my forehead…too short to be tucked into my pony and too long to remain inconspicuous. So they stick out in every possible direction, much to my embarrassment and others amusement! They remind me of those yummy ‘Twistee-lee’ Kurkure from Lays. Just that this isn’t yummy! (No, I’ve not tasted them…. GROSS!!!)

So my hair was the most amusing creation according to my lovely friends. Every morning after oiling or applying my ready made and inexpensive ‘water’ gel, it looks fine. But after that hour long journey to college, my my, the frizz surfaces!
If that was bad, you should see it at the end of the day. All my hair, twistee-lee included, stick out, giving me this eccentric batty look! Not that people in my college don’t have other reasons to call me weird!
Initially I did not like to undo my pony tail and put it back again, cos I always never liked others doing it. It made me feel as if I’m being too vain! But then, to hold on to that scrap of respect that people have for me, I undo my pony these days and put it back again, with a trifle help, sometimes, from my water gel!
On Freshers’ day, after a dip in the pool, my hair frizzed out totally and my class people thought I looked quite nice. But well, good things don’t last long and yeah, it was back to being madam frizzy head from the next day!

So when I got this Rs.500 voucher to ‘carry out any beauty treatment’ at Naturals Unisex Salon, I was flying high! Cos in fine print, along with beauty treatment, was written four magical words- includes HAIR STRAIGHTENING TREATMENT!!! I couldn’t have wished for anything better that day!

So off I scoot to Spencers wit my cousin in search of that ‘Dream Factory’, only to find that Hair straightening costs a bloody 3500Rs! So much for hoping for a revolution. I sighed one deep sigh and thought I would have step-cut/layers as they call it. Lots of my friends have it and I’ve wanted one ever since I saw it on someone’s head.

Me: Can I have a layer cut then?
Hair Stylist: NOOOO! Your hair is FRIZZY, CURLY, BRITTLE and DRY! You SHOULD NOT do a layer cut. You’ll NEVER be able to manage!
Me (beseechingly): I can… Could you PLEEEEEZ do a layer cut!
Hair Stylist: Definitely Not! You need to bond and straighten your hair first. Then, maybe yes!
Me (with fading hope): How much will that cost?
Hair Stylist: Straightening alone is Rs.3500. Bonding will be another 100 or so!
Me: But I’m not prepared for that!
HS: how about facial?
Me: No… I don’t want anything on my face. Only something for my hair.
HS: Try ironing then!
Me (with raising hopes): how much is that?
HS: Rs.500 only!

That did it! I jumped at the opportunity. HS said that it would last till I wash my hair next time. And it also straightens your hair. After a good 45 minutes, I saw a new me on the reflection. DEAD straight hair. All my low confidence on my looks vanished for that second. I looked GOOD! REALLY, TRULY! It will ALWAYS remain one of those unforgettable moments in my life forever!

With flying spirits I turned to my cousin for her opinion. She said, “You’ve never looked prettier before. You generally don’t look tom-boyish but you don’t look girly either. But today you look so much like a pretty traditional girl. You’re looking a little old, yes. But nice!” I was thrilled. And for the first time I did what I have ALWAYS wanted to do. Walk around with my hair fully let loose in a public place! My… One more dream fulfilled. I felt nice… Very good about being myself and for the first time in my life, SO ASSURED of my looks!

We came back home by bus. Bad decision, we realized and got down mid-way from the terribly crowded bus. As I got into an auto, my cousin looked at me and said-“You know what? Your hair has started to curl up a little in the ends”. Horror of horrors, yes! It really had.

By the time I went home, THAT effect was gone and my hair looked wavy instead of straight and my parents and my sister did not find too much of a change! After listening to a whole half hour of “You’re looking beautiful, you’re looking pretty” from my cousin and my own secret peeping at myself in the glass on the shop windows, all I get was this!!!

I was so dejected and down in the dumps! I was almost in tears when Harish lightened my mood by some very funny messages! Thanks da! I owe you one more! :) Next time pakumbodhu unakku chocki, ok ya?

Go to college next day and no one finds a change! So sad! Very Bad! More disheartened! I thought I’ll go to college with my wavy hair let out. But mom and dad din quite approve. So I thought I’ll let it down in college one day and do some pist! But since no one found any change even after I sadly told them about the ironing, I so LOST ALL my confidence that I stuck to my pony!

Well my hair is now thankfully more manageable than before, but that would be only till tomo when I have my hair bath! Sigh!

But the silver linng in the story is that my dear friend Ahu gifted me a Schwarzkopf Magic OSIS + (Anti-frizz serum) and a Lakme Hair Next serum and they seem to make my hair manageable than straight. I’m GLAd about it. Thanks Ahu!

Well temporarily, whenever I use this, my hair looks better. Otherwise I still am Madame Frizzy head [No one calls me that. It’s self-christened! :) ]

Maybe in distant future I’ll permanently straighten my hair, maybe I won’t. But that single second, looking at that full length mirror, dressed in one of my favourite kurtas, hair all straight, eyebrows trimmed, I experienced one PERFECT moment in life… Something that shall always remain cherished and help me digest the fact that till then I shall remain HAIRY SCARY!


Sheks said...

try aswini hair oil(or the duplicate one called "dustbini" available in saravana stores).
dont sit by the window of ur college bus(it wont matter if u dont get a glimpse of kiruba rowing in adyar river).

BTW how're ur new slippers?did u check out saravana stores?

Anonymous said...

If you have friends in the US or anywhere abroad,you can get those hair ironing gadgets.All my american friends use it eevryday!!They are not the healthiest for your hair but I guess if you use a few conditioning masks and gels you can limit the damage.
They are not too damn expensive ,for one time investment.In fact,I won't be surprised if you can get them in madras.MAy be you can ask around the salons and they might let you know,where you can get them in madras.Trust me,you can get the hair you are dreaming of.

Anonymous said...

Long time no see.

Yikes. Hair trouble is a problem I've suffered for long. 'Elikunju'? Lol. I'd rather call mine as a cactus.
Never been to a beauty salon. That's because we repel each other. pfft.

Great post. It had me laughing halfway through and yet uncannily reminded me of my own hair troubles.

Harish said...

ippo kooda sollraen.. the isthirikaaran charges not more than 2 bucks per shirt.. apadiye un thalaiya vittudu cycle gap-la!

daily 2 Rs.. paravala, the cost that accompanies vanity! :) adjust panniko!

radiantbear said...

hey Ramya,

You made me laugh as usual!!
Yeah I wanted to say what Anon said.. Coz when i had been to the Us this summer.. I had seen most of the women use that.. should try and get it!!


Vani Viswanathan said...

PLEASE don't straighten your hair....your hair ain't that bad!!every chapta here has straight hair and i JUST DON'T WANT to see another head with straight hair when i come back! ;)
besides, do you know that people everywhere do a lot to perm their hair? my friends here call MY hair 'permed'..they'd fall in love with your hair!!
btw, why does nanyaar call you ramya again? :)

Abhi! said...

came here from suds blog..
Somehow, I have always thot tht curly hair on gurls makes them tht wee bit different from the other gurls.

Personally, i think curly hair is great and tht u are lucky to have tht


Unknown said...

LOL! girl... u shud just wear it differently.. me just back from a trip to Malaysia n trust me all those chaptas look EXACTLY the same with their super-straight hair n long legs.. u wudn't know it's someone different unless u take a long, hard look at the face.. LOL!!

jokes apart, try some frizz control shampoos.. i'd avoid ironing cuz it's just not worth 500 bucks.. or rather, save up some cash n do the straightening.. that at least lasts!!

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