December 13, 2011

One of those days...

It is one of those days when everything looks bleak, uncertain and painful. When nothing seems to work. The cards don't stay still and form my little paper castle. They fall. Over and over again.

I know this too shall pass, and I shall be okay, or I shall somehow make myself okay, because I have recently discovered that I can be anything I want to be, if I want it truly enough. That I am a malleable chameleon who can change shades if she wills to.

But today I demand that things get okay by themselves. That some miracle knocks on my door and sweeps away the dirty floors and dusts off those cobwebs for me. That I don't have to do my dirty work, make sense of my life with difficulty and overcome hardships all by myself!

I demand that my movie gets made. And not by hook or crook. But in that way I saw it in that first vision, the way I have nurtured it, polished it, chopped it to show off its finer bits. I want to make it in that just-right manner.

But why does it get tougher and tougher everyday? To fix the tiniest of things? To bridge the smallest of gaps? Where are my minions who will want to set things right?

Why do things that can make it happen be at an unattainable perch?

There is a limit to complexities. But well, mine was crossed long back. In every aspect of my life! I shall still grin and bear it and somehow, I know this film will happen. I just hope it happens soon. Before strength, money, time and my sagging spirit fail me!


Murali said...

How much money do you need. How will this be recovered

Murali said...

You havent answered the question ?

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

Hey Murali!

I am so sorry. The recovery is not much. It is only a probability- if in case the film wins any awards in any of the festivals, then the percentage of contribution to the film, shall be given in percentage from the prize money(if any) to the producer.

And any amount of money is welcome. Everything is a help, indeed!

Thank you for your concern. Wondering if you have a blog yourself. Would love to read it!


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