November 20, 2009

Happiness, after all!

There are moments your dads just embrace you with their words and make you feel so good about being their daughters. These are pretty rare moments really, because, contrary to popular opinion, I AM an Amma's child. It has always been my amma who has supported all my whims and fancies, despite knowing that I have a tendency to the excess.

My appa and I have always been very attached to one another. We have been friends more than anything else, just like my amma and I. We fight, we bond, we team up against my sister or my mother, we talk electronics and gadgets, we discuss science with great interest and he's someone who has inspired me a lot.

But somewhere, despite all that, I have always thought appa never really encouraged my endeavours and never really cared for what I wanted. Praise from him, was always valued. Amma knew, intuitively, and she is my pillar of strength, the biggest support and a person whose capacity to love, patience, spirit and brilliance I want to emulate. Appa was this person whose genius I admire, experience I respect and whose sense of humour I laugh over. But somewhere, being the white elephant child that I am and also with my varied interests and extreme enthusiasm, appa and I have always had our differences of opinion.

So when that day, just after my jury, which went really well, I rushed to the phone to call amma, who'll KNOW how much this meant to me, who'd feel the exact happiness like I did and who'd be delighted over it! I knew she could be trusted to buoy up my ecstacy. I asked her to pass on this news to appa, as I was sure he'd be happy, but not absolutely sure of how much it would mean to him. But when he called back almost instantly and with such enthusiastic happiness, gushed his congratulations, the delight I knew, could not be worded.

For, the man who told me it wasn't wise to chase films, who provoked me saying it is high time I get a job, and who also laughed at me for being a fool to give up architecture- finally realised how much this means to me. And humbly, with great love for his daughter, he sweetly called and chirped in his happy song to me.

It meant so much, I'd be mad to attempt to write it. It jerked hitherto invisible tears into my eyes suddenly.

And today, when he once again did a similar sweet act, I realized, maybe it was just a fear that his child would be hurt-that made him oppose me. And when he said, an hour ago, that he can see me go places, I had happy tears once again and a new dream rooted itself deep into my heart. It is not just for the mother(and sister too), but also for the father that the movies shall be made.

Appa, I'm sorry, if I have ever been horrible to you. But you know I love you!
Amma, I love you for what you are and what, I know, you'll always be! You're simply wonderful.
Swethu, you're perfect and even a thought of you makes me long for home!

It is delightful to be alive!
God bless the world with such happiness!

1 comment

Anonymous said...

Was expecting this from you for a looooooooooooong time. He deserved this. He is a great guy no doubt. Poor thing, he is bad at expressing things. He also happens to be one of my favourite cousins.


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Maira Gall