January 24, 2009

Here, there, everywhere...

Self-motivation is just about the most difficult thing to achieve. And my thesis seems to be SOLELY motivated by the self! : | I haven't had even one sitting with this supposedly fantastic thesis advisor we've got. Just my luck, like I always say!

Been drifting here there everywhere with work and assignments. I've become what they term in Hindi as a 'Bhataktha hua insaan', in every sense of the word! Roaming the streets for case study, interviews, permissions, blah-on and blah-forth!

FINALLY(imagine a long-drawn sigh while you read the word), I successfully finished all three case studies! Now for the assignments to get over and the case study sheets to be made!

Work never gets complete, does it?! *rolls eyes

I wish for a nice holiday somewhere with family right now. But till April, I don't think I even have the freedom or a moment to sit down and chalk out any kind of dream holiday, even.

I plan to start out writing what I've always wanted to make into a novel. The success of my short film made me realize that the story(which was part of this novel, I was writing. Ha! I dream big, don't I?! ) really had in it what I thought only I felt. People did see it and they seemed to like it in the same way! And this belief in my story is what is propeeling me to take my pen again.

Honestly, I'm tired of typing my writing out. There really should be means in which as I write my text on paper, it should get typed automatically on the computer. No DTP, no retyping, nothing doing!

Life's interesting, I must say. New things and new confidence have besieged my existence. Thankfully, the last year equipped me with so much life skills and patience that I'm taking it all in a way that gives me a credit for improvement.

Of course, I see in myself a horribly selfish person with the most severe of I-don't-care attitudes most of the times, interspersed with short-term bouts of compassion and generosity. But well, it makes living life a lot easier and for now, until and unless my B.Arch gets over and done with, THIS is how I'm going to be.

People drift in and out of my life these days. I am not complaining. I have found such an immense wealth of inner happiness that, honestly, I don't give a damn anymore. But when people come and treat me well, I treat them in my own usual treble-measure of niceness in return! And somewhere the deal is fair and square. WYSIWYG- What you see is what you get- a concept that I don't remember as a computer terminology anymore, but more so as a philosophical dogma. Of course, there is the usual trustworthy loyal small bunches of people that unfailingly cushion me up and make me feel as snug as a bug in a rug! :)

Well well... as the unpredictability of life continues, I go ahead- a stronger and better person, with heaps of scope for improvement- letting everything wash over her. Yes, the tsunami's coming. But I am a deep rooted tree- as deep as the ocean from whence the water emerges forth. I shall be drenched- but not down!

1 comment

Satish N said...

Ah, that sounds like a "good girl" to me. So keep-up this momentum and continue spreading cheers and happiness all around you. This was one of the best post's of yours (as far as the little i have read)


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Maira Gall