September 19, 2006

MEN ARE FROM MARS...REALLY!!!

(A post written with 19 years of live experience in interacting with the species in question! The post is totally a personal expression and not intented to wound everyone but meant to hurt and hurt hard a selected few who've made life a trial for me at times!!! grr... there is satisfaction in revenge!!! :D)

Where else could they have come from if not from that planet about which everything is ambiguous-be it existence of life or the origin of name?!

Now here's the 'MEN ARE FROM MARS…REALLY!!!' for dummies- First Edition, published by Dreamodrome Publishers, ISBN *!~%^@ Copyright Sandhya Ramachandran a.k.a. The Dreamy Dryad(regd.)

1> They have SIMPLE BASIC tastes.

Meaning- all they can have are BASIC INSTINCTS- animal ishtyle!

2> They are DUMB.

They cannot get it when a girl is interested in them and they never get it when the girl throws them off her back. They insist on behaving contrary to requirements.

3> They are INSENSITIVE JERKS!

They think not of your feelings, figure not your thoughts, care not about your image and self-esteem!

4> They just want FUN out of life!

If they drink alcohol the quantity of Indian Ocean, they still INSIST on driving- cos it's FUN!!!

If they make a fool of you in front of the world, STILL don't realize you are hurt even if you blare the message clear and booming on a loudspeaker and CONTINUE to act as if nothing happened- it was just for FUN!!!

If they promise you something, forget it and ask a sorry as serious as a 'hi', it was just for FUN!!!

5> They have an EQ=ZILCH!!!

The number zero was invented for the sole purpose of equating their emotional quotients to! They don't feel, emote or experience!

And if they do…. Then here's the micro mini guide to the micro-micro-micro emotions a guy feels…

He looks upset === > he is making fun of you

He calls you his 'best friend' == > He thinks you are 'a big nut case'.

He asks you 'won't you at least do this little help? == > He means 'Please make a fool of yourself'

He tells you 'We'll surely finish the work tomorrow'== > 'I'm not going to be around tomorrow'

'I'm busy' == > 'I'm jobless but TOTALLY NOT INTERESTED in ANY possible communication with you, about you or for you!!!'

6>Men lie a LOTTTTTT and are DAMN GOOD at it!!!

They just want to save their skin or their GUY friend's! That they CAN'T lie when it is a girl's skin to be saved is a different matter- it becomes a question of morals, values and ethics then!!!

7>Men LOVE men!

If you find a man crying, if you find him lauging; if he's helping, if he's killing- it is ALL for other fellow MEN! All that men LOVE women is strictly to satisfy carnal desires! NOTHING ELSE!!!

8> Men lovvvvvvvve EXCUSES!!!

If they break a jug – it is an accident

If you do- 'clumsy, careless, dumb!!!'

If they were late- the bus was late!

If you are late- you take their time for granted.

If they don't call back- I was held up/ traveling/ busy/ in a conference/ someone had a problem or they give their vague statement:

"SITUATIONS WERE BAD, you WOULDN'T understand!"

(Oh yeah??? Situations were bad? Try me… cos Bingo! They're at their WORST here!)

9> Men MISUNDERSTAND women.

If you smile at him, go an extra mile, support him-You love him!

If he does that- He's JUST your best friend!

If you call him up, message him a thoudsand-hundred times and give two hundred miscalls- you are DESPERATE for attention!!!

If he does ditto- he's frantically trying to reach you. THAT"S ALL!!!!!!!

10> Men HURT Women

By the little things they do for THEIR fun.

By the little petty promises they make to SHUT US up!

By the little sweet nothings they say to get their work done.

By the little actions they do to temporarily escape trouble.

By the little pranks they play at your cost.

By the little little things that break our hearts, wring our souls and handicap us… sometimes for life!

And the men for whom this post was intended for are NEVER going to understand even if they read this that it is meant for them!

Well… MEN ARE FROM MARS…REALLY!!!

And THEY HAD BETTER STAYED THERE!!!

X(

25 comments

arvind caulagi said...

i know for whom those beautiful lines were meant for.......:-D

S said...

whoa! whoa! chill, man...what's all this anger spurting out? :O

Nanyaar? said...

Child, you need help.I understand, its not your fault.

lol

ny

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

arvind...
Good for you!!! But you bette seal those lips and shut up!!! X(

s...
Life's like that! Whattu do?!?! :(

Ny...
I know!!! It's an unfair world!!! :( :( :(

hamsini said...

Quite a post,this!!!:):):) Guy bashing sessions are therapy!!!

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

hamsini...
Gurl!!! U SOOOOOOOOOO understand! ;)

neoronin said...

Wow, deserves a place in "Landmark" Bestseller's list ;) On an another note, would suggest you to revisit this after few years.

s_h_r_u_t_i said...

u have asked me some sneaky questions in life before.. i had no idea though!!! :D :D :D
i'm no feminist, but some men DO deserve this!! u go girl!
and for all the others out there, sandhya's got an extreme single track mind.. its like she's on blinkers. she doesnt see the rest of you guys at the sidelines :D

aparna said...

tats one helluva of a post...and its totally rt to say they r from MARS!Atleast a few of 'em.
.Go sandhya!

kausikram krishnasayee said...

@do we have a term called FCP? will check hey btb try this for an answer
http://chaosbudha.blogspot.com/2006/01/new-species-found.html

Sheks said...

Of course I could have stayed at Mars but those women scientists at NASA couldnt keep their curiosity quarantined for long.Given the number of spaceships they sent(all of which found only a half-full bottle of bisleri water),we had no choice except to seek refuge elsewhere.

c said...

lol one of ur funniest posts yet sandhya..looking fwd to sum1 to put up a He Says soon.and i hope i never get on tht list of guys its intended to..tht is if i am nt already there!

Anonymous said...

hillarious post!!! This is really gud...Mebe i found many a things true...but some not...say for instance,

All that men LOVE women is strictly to satisfy carnal desires!

This in few cases is true...but not in many buddy...Men love women for their true care...their intensity of luv...and also for their childishness at times.

Otherwise this post is really fantasitc...Gud analysis.

but at times, women can also be so damn bugging, that men really wish to get back to mars..to escape from their torture...lol

keep up your gud work!

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

neoronin..
He he! I sure hope my opinions change! :D But tht really is in teh hands of the men in the world! :D

s_h_r_u_t_i
agreed agreed! :D I've totally been blistering men in this post! whattu do? and yeah.. the rest of them are getting hurt in the process! :P And as long as ppl like u understand wat ejaackly i'm hitting at, no worries!!! :D

Soupsticks - supriya said...

"Men lie a LOTTTTTT and are DAMN GOOD at it!!!"

sooooooo trueeeeeeeee........ pachai poi ......the white lie .....colourrrffffuuul lies ...they are good at those

ada-paavi!!!! said...

nice attempt at trying to sound grown up kiddo, n all but u fall flat on ur face.

WA said...

Hahaha

thetalkativeman said...

Piddling diddlysquat 19 yrs and u wanna write a book? :-)

ps:that was a typical from-mars response..take it easy ;)

Anonymous said...

man u right real big ones! almost put me to sleep....i think some guy has hurt you big time! but let me assure you that all men are like this! i hope u wish to marry a man..he wont be too diff too....

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

Soupsticks sup....
Now u know why i call u the kindred soul!!! you read my mind girl!!! ;)

ada-paavi!!!
he he.. i din try to act grown-up one bit! and well.. I never said my writings are meant for the entire mankind! It's intended for a special few! sad u din like it! but hey... thanks for ur honest criticism!!! :)

WA...
agree or disagree??? :)

thetalkativeman...
I'm taking it easy.. tat's y the entire martian lot's alive!!! ;) Thot of eradicating them!!! he he... thanks! bin at the receiving end lately... but yeah... this too shall pass!!! :)


aravind raghu...
he he.. yeah! I'm planning to marry a gy only... hopefullyu shld turn out to better than the ones I knom now!!! :D

Vids said...

hi sandhya...
nice one yaar...really true..i jus started blogging a few days b4... found ur writing really gud
cheerz
vids

R.S said...

Don't generalize kiddo. On the other hand, if it was from a fit of anger...

Anonymous said...

Your correct in most of the things...add one more thing to it
Men never ever think what's wrong with women.

Serish

Ganesh S said...

seri , ramya how many boy friend you had and how many men did not help you , how many men hurted you , how many men did not understand you , you knw what leave it , just cant stop asking anything nee kuduthu vechhathu avalavuthan enna pannrthu sollu , think you have a attitude problem.

Ganesh S said...

sandhya now only i knw who you are sorry i dint give you the red color sulekha bag in the blogcamp meeting ok , but still think u have a attitude problem.

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