MY LOO THAT IS A ZOO…

Ever heard of symbiotic relationships? Peaceful co-existence? Mutual understanding? Yeah yeah… the very same things you learnt in those EVS classes in your primary! And if you don’t remember, well not to worry! I’ll tell you what it means! Welcome to my college loo, that is a zoo…

My college loo- the one in our block is the most ill-maintained loo in the planet. I’ve complained innumerable times, sent written letters to the HOD, which has been forwarded to the Joint Director Etc. Still no use!

Maybe my college is taking its ‘eco-drive, green campus’ policy a little too seriously, for there was a green snake in our art room, camouflaged between some works of ours! Well but aren’t we talking about the loo, you might ask. Wait wait… first let’s roam around it and then go in there…

The college campus has everything- from cows to monkeys to bats. YES- all live specimens that could interest a zoo-lover. The monkeys especially haunt our fast food and grab every single ‘slip between the plate and the lip’. And I remember my friends and a reluctant I fed four ‘college pups’. There once used to be ducks, a senior informs.

Now if all these, I must say are quite bearable. It does feel nicer to see real monkeys after the stupid monkeying guys in the college; I declare that it’s only the loo that bugs me!
Yes “bugs” me-in every sense of the word!

Grass hoppers, snake skins, live frogs( which have this great affinity to me and end up jumping at me every single time!), lizards, rats in the gutter, bats, ants, insects and bugs of every genus is available in the loo. Sometimes they are dead and will do better to adorn a bottle of formaldehyde rather than appear crushed behind the door hinge! Sometime they play hide and seek with us girls and hide on top of the door only to fall on us and croak, “Caught ya!”

And to top it all, the locks are ancient. Should have belonged to the slave dynasty [isn’t that most appropriate? ;) ] My friend got locked in once. We had to carry out a rescue mission. She almost fainted. Come on, getting locked with a pair of beady eyed frogs is not your idea of a romantic peril; to be saved by a dashing prince, is it? (Not that there ARE any princes I my college! Sorry ye men folk!) One another student who came for the culturals got locked up inside and came out totally shaken. It’s an ordeal! I KNOW… because, er… I almost got locked in with a winking frog and a lizard!

Everyday this continues and everyday we spend about half-an-hour of our ten minute break in examining which of the four loos’ has no or less frogs! It’s actually like this- we go in two’s or four’s. NEVER alone (Are you mad? How CAN we go alone?) And we each examine two/ one loo and determine which is the most safest and best. And then we well… use it! : ) what else dummy?

We don’t disturb the frogs as long as they don’t. If they do, we go on a shrieking fit, till they drop down dead! Or run away so fast that they fall right into the toilet rather than on us!

It’s a war everyday. We live in mortal peril. The fear of death haunts us. After all Cleopatra died of a wasp bite and we pretty women ought to be on ‘constant vigilance’. Tomorrow there might be a clash between us and the ‘toad’ians. Tomorrow I might live to tell the tale…maybe not (if I’m still locked in, where can I access the net, stupid?) Till then we shall live in…A symbiotic relationship… Peaceful co-existence… Mutual understanding…

In MY LOO THAT IS A ZOO!

:D