July 28, 2005

MY LOO THAT IS A ZOO…

Ever heard of symbiotic relationships? Peaceful co-existence? Mutual understanding? Yeah yeah… the very same things you learnt in those EVS classes in your primary! And if you don’t remember, well not to worry! I’ll tell you what it means! Welcome to my college loo, that is a zoo…

My college loo- the one in our block is the most ill-maintained loo in the planet. I’ve complained innumerable times, sent written letters to the HOD, which has been forwarded to the Joint Director Etc. Still no use!

Maybe my college is taking its ‘eco-drive, green campus’ policy a little too seriously, for there was a green snake in our art room, camouflaged between some works of ours! Well but aren’t we talking about the loo, you might ask. Wait wait… first let’s roam around it and then go in there…

The college campus has everything- from cows to monkeys to bats. YES- all live specimens that could interest a zoo-lover. The monkeys especially haunt our fast food and grab every single ‘slip between the plate and the lip’. And I remember my friends and a reluctant I fed four ‘college pups’. There once used to be ducks, a senior informs.

Now if all these, I must say are quite bearable. It does feel nicer to see real monkeys after the stupid monkeying guys in the college; I declare that it’s only the loo that bugs me!
Yes “bugs” me-in every sense of the word!

Grass hoppers, snake skins, live frogs( which have this great affinity to me and end up jumping at me every single time!), lizards, rats in the gutter, bats, ants, insects and bugs of every genus is available in the loo. Sometimes they are dead and will do better to adorn a bottle of formaldehyde rather than appear crushed behind the door hinge! Sometime they play hide and seek with us girls and hide on top of the door only to fall on us and croak, “Caught ya!”

And to top it all, the locks are ancient. Should have belonged to the slave dynasty [isn’t that most appropriate? ;) ] My friend got locked in once. We had to carry out a rescue mission. She almost fainted. Come on, getting locked with a pair of beady eyed frogs is not your idea of a romantic peril; to be saved by a dashing prince, is it? (Not that there ARE any princes I my college! Sorry ye men folk!) One another student who came for the culturals got locked up inside and came out totally shaken. It’s an ordeal! I KNOW… because, er… I almost got locked in with a winking frog and a lizard!

Everyday this continues and everyday we spend about half-an-hour of our ten minute break in examining which of the four loos’ has no or less frogs! It’s actually like this- we go in two’s or four’s. NEVER alone (Are you mad? How CAN we go alone?) And we each examine two/ one loo and determine which is the most safest and best. And then we well… use it! : ) what else dummy?

We don’t disturb the frogs as long as they don’t. If they do, we go on a shrieking fit, till they drop down dead! Or run away so fast that they fall right into the toilet rather than on us!

It’s a war everyday. We live in mortal peril. The fear of death haunts us. After all Cleopatra died of a wasp bite and we pretty women ought to be on ‘constant vigilance’. Tomorrow there might be a clash between us and the ‘toad’ians. Tomorrow I might live to tell the tale…maybe not (if I’m still locked in, where can I access the net, stupid?) Till then we shall live in…A symbiotic relationship… Peaceful co-existence… Mutual understanding…

In MY LOO THAT IS A ZOO!

:D

14 comments

Aarthi said...

I am going to comment without trying to grin.. (Which is a considerable feat, mind you.)
Wait. Did I read the word 'snakes'? (gulp) (twitches)
I applaud your bravery. Very few of us can manage to get stuck in the loo and come out alive.. In other words, thankfully, it's never happened to me. Then again, who knows what our twisted fates have in store for us.
Though I am still curious. How would guys react if they face a similar problem? After all, Alexander the Great also supposedly died of a mosquito bite.
Yes, symbiotic relationship is definitely the term.
Again out of curiosity, I have to ask a rather peculiar question. Is it true that if a lizard falls on top of your head, you will be blessed with good fortune?

Funny one, Sandhya. Wishing you peaceful times in the loo.. uh.. i.e zoo.
;)

Vinesh said...

Hahahahahaha Sandhya!! You're too much! :-D

"Sometime they play hide and seek with us girls and hide on top of the door only to fall on us and croak, “Caught ya!”

Hahahahaha! Just the kind of language I love to read! :-) Which college do you study in? And are you studying architecture or zoology, LOL

Vijay Ramamurthi said...

Good one :)

Kalakkarenga
"A symbiotic relationship… Peaceful co-existence… Mutual understanding…"

pirkaalthula UN kku porathukku nalla vayppu irukku

eppadikku

neoronin said...

good to see you back with your usual sense of humor and language

krishna said...

ultra-cool to be a reader..:), enjoying ur funny comments..

btw,,did u say u go to a college???

Leon said...

Fun reading.. :-)

In contrast, the loos were probably the BEST aspect of MY college.. :p.

Harish said...

Now THESE are the kinda loos u oughta be designing!!

Vani Viswanathan said...

lol!
taking on with harish, maybe you must have some cage-like structures for these creatures so they could relax for sometime and not run about after getting scared with your yells!!!

Vani Viswanathan said...

and aarthi,
if a lizard falls on one's head, she/he is doomed to death(yeah...not luck! :( )

Aarthi said...

Thanks, Vani. I had a feeling that dad's stories would always be stretched tales of his imagination. Excuse me while I go pick a fight with someone.
;)

rAKeSH said...

really too much. I almost fell out of my chair laughing seriously if you were to ever conduct a strike for your cause dont forget to call on me.

* said...

i'm sure you can definitely blog about better things.

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

Aarthi...
Well Vans did answer your question. I guess only our college is the one with surviving examples of people who haven't died of 'lizard fall'. Anyway thanks so much for coming here regularly. It means a LOT!!!

Vinesh...
Thaks for all ur appreciation. I study in HCE
And ARCHITECTURE, tho I'm sure I already have a Masters in Zoology! ;)

Vijay Ramamurthi...
I do want to join the UN someday and I'm not joking. Well, I quite liked the pun, if it was intented, that is! Or is it just pervy me!

Neoronin...
Ah feels nice that u think i'm back to being my creative best! Danks so much!!!!

Krishna..
Never knew I wud have such sweet readers who'll compliment me so muuch. I'm feeling blithe!
And yeah... I am in college II yr!

leon..
Ah... you were one lucky guy!
Who had a wonderful loo!
Ah but i can only sigh,
For my loo is oh.. A ZOO!!!
:)

Harish...
Kicks!!!!!
I'm NOT gonna design loos! I have better stuff in mind. Tho they all will have loos!

Vani Pisa,
You seem to have more akkarai for the lizards than me! Cha Cha!!!

Rakesh,
Definitely! Thanku Thanku!!!

*
Well this topic was too tempting. Let's see if the future posts shall make you happy! :)

poornima said...

hi!!!!
this one is so far my favourite...well our college loo freaks me out...the dead frog on the door still there and DISGUSTING!hey u should blog about bob the bat and etc....(just a suggestion)IT WILL HIT THE BOXOFFICE ;0)

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