July 31, 2005

I,ME,MYSELF

Do we have time for ourselves, these fast-flying buzzing days? It’s either exams or work or some other troublesome thing that occupies our time, energy and attention. On my trip to Ooty, all of a sudden, came this refreshing loneliness. Long awaited time to spend with myself.

All the time I looked out of the window, at those stretches and stretches of green land, my mind kept thinking, my heart sang for joy and soul flitted across higher planes. There was bliss in the offing, and I grabbed it with both hands. I had the pleasure of train journeys- where I spin many a yarn... where I ponder, think a million things, wonder about how lovely my life has been… relive all those dear dear moments I so cherish… ha, I cleanse myself, feel an unknown calm and marry my disconnected thoughts…

I feel MYSELF. I generally am this VERY VERY talkative girl. Ask all those who’ve met me, seen me or now me- they’d more than agree. : ) If I happen to meet you, I’m someone who would talk to you first, keep talking and keep talking more! But well, when I’m the most happiest, I’m at my sober best! People who find me irritating, might actually just like me! I guess that’s when I draw in all the energy from the pool outside.

When I’m walking in my terrace, with no one in sight, no cell phones, no books, no music. Just starlight, moonshine and I- I talk… within me, to the sky, stars et al! Dream, imagine, think some dear thoughts, look at the stars, feel elated, blush, smile, laugh, sing, dance- everything a girl could possibly do. And just be happy- being myself, being there, doing that, living MY life!

Silence, as I’ve already mentioned, IS a mirage. Aren’t we talking a million things at once? Well we are. But I guess, we renew ourselves in that, make ourselves reconstruct the past, readdress the present and roam about the future. Looking far into that distant winking star, smiling at it with my head tilted, asking it in soft whispers- what do I see in tomorrow.

Loneliness is bliss- cos it’s rare and pure and tranquil. All other times, I’m with a million people and it’s comforting to just spend time with yourself. It’s nice to pamper yourself, thinking about well-YOU! We, to ourselves are the most precious people and we deserve some time for ourselves to refresh and to stitch the torn shreds of our hearts and souls!

Well, for loneliness and all the ‘trysts with the stars/hours of tranquility’, I live. If not for them, I’d be a zombie! And because of them, I shall keep…

DREAMING ON…

14 comments

Bizzare said...

Loneliness is not one wants all the time. I always want to be with my close friends, but sometimes I do feel that one should spend time for oneself. I think its to grow, to forgive others mistake, to change your attitude, to make a change in yourself. Just 5 minutes for yourself and there you find a new person. When one becomes friend of his loneliness, he turns into a philosopher. Oops, that’s not good. So just a small visit to your-self is good. The more is dangerous.

Harish said...

You mean to say there are times when u actually have ur mouth closed? woww!!

* said...

good post :)

Aarthi said...

One of the reasons I visit your blog regularly is because my thoughts are usually reflections of yours. So, true.. Without loneliness, one would turn into a zombie; following meaningless rules and monotonous lives. A little time is needed to contemplate on our own lives.. Sniff. Now I have become all sentimental and stuff. Sniff.
Ah, terrace is a wondrous place to talk to yourself and not be labeled 'insane' by your family members. Trust me. I have been there.
Thought-provoking post. I really enjoyed it.

chennaiite said...

Hey..that was a good one....ppl do need time for themselves to think abt stuff they havent thought abt or done in recent times......I happened to have such thoughts off late....check out my thoughts and blog in.......

krishna said...

hmm.just curious ....when u are lonely and when u start thinking abt different things .aren't u actually doing some kind of a mild meditation..

now ..if such a thing makes u feel good , why don't u start meditating seriously??;)

am i making any sense to u ??:)

Praveen said...

"I generally am this VERY VERY talkative girl. Ask all those who’ve met me, seen me or now me- they’d more than agree."

Same blood :)

Anonymous said...

Hey sandhya...me a first-timer here...just read ur interests, god...same interests i have!...LOVE arr,sudhish(am regular in his blog)...n my role model is Nirmal, the sportswriter...wow sandhya!!..Srinivas.

Vivhyd said...

ya rite.. I have lots of time to myself.. now as I stay alone and have even gone 24 hrs w/o spking to anyone.. :(((((((((((((((((

but on the contary.. abt ur post.. u r rite.. and wht better than Ooty to have to look at while u get this kind of feeling..

Manu said...

I'm with VivHyd.

Your post is a reflection of my thoughts when I was 19. When I was living with a million people.

However, in the last few years, my opinions have changed. Everyone needs their space.. no doubt. But, to me, being alone can only be a break from being with people. I don't think I would like it the other way around. I guess thats one of the vices of growing up in a populated place and then moving to place with very little population. You miss what you grew up with.

abberanti said...

You should be a popstar.

Sandhya Ramachandran said...

bizzare...
True... in its own limit, loneliness is good! Toomuch will just lead toself-pity!

harish...
Green green words coming! Nerla vaa... X(

*
AT LAST!!!!!!
I'm Cho happy! And I couldn't download the SPB thing. Give me time. I'm switching over to broadband in a month or two. Will definitely download then, when it's quiker!

aarthi..
Yeah yeah. I KNEW we thought alike. Got HP 6? have you read L.M.Montgomery?

Chennaiite...
Thanks! Will definitely do!

Krishna...
Meditation for me is just looking out to vast expanses of beauty! i breathe that in deeply! But yeah, I have done meditation for like 10 years!

Praveen...
Silent assasin! :)

Srinivas...
Hi! Great we share same tastes! :)

vivhyd...
So sad.. 24 hrs not talking is IMPOSSIBLE for me!

Manu...
Guess 19 doesn't know what life shows later. For now, loneliness is bliss.Later, I guess I'll grow to agree wid ya!


Abberanti...
POPSTAR? WHY??????????

Vinesh said...

Sandhya..

Are you really a talkative girl? Surprising, because ur blog doesn't give that out..

But maybe that is why you have a blog in the first place :-)

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