June 06, 2005

JATAKS!!!

You slowly walk… dodging the milling crowd… casually pausing to look at the stuff displayed in the windows… Pretty! Very beautifully embroidered! Nice colour! Rich! Oops…bloody expensive!- you rate them one by one.
And suddenly your eye falls on one particular dress material and you just can’t take your eyes off it… or er… maybe you have already shifted gaze, but the object you just saw refuses to dissolve from your retinal screen ( Got It! Now this is approximately what my teacher tried explaining by Simultaneous contrast! Cha Cha… exam bodhu therilaye….!!!)
It stays there for a while… JATAAKS!!! Your mind scrrrrrreams!
Definition: That indefinable unbelievable colour that makes you feel like yelling at the top of your voice yet leaves you dumb-struck and eye-numb! Actually it cannot be explained… it is an experience in itself!
Where can you spot it? On display at every ‘three and a half’th shop on any shopper’s paradise.( Note: Three and a half the because the other half is a PCO booth erected for cell-less souls like me!)
Wondering how exactly you can identify it? No problem, man! You don’t need to! It identifies itself- By standing OUT- in every which way possible!

Seeing Jataaks catalyses a specific neurologically psychologically disturbing phenomenon or disease called ‘Jataaksitis’. Specific symptoms have been well researched by the author and have been listed below for the benefit of the ignorant and concerned reader quoting personal experiences and also over-heard and eaves-dropped ones…
“ Jataksitis is not a permanent phenomena. In this way, the patient is not really in any serious condition. But it results in momentary loss of the sensory cognition and even few seconds lost during work may resulting great loss of output and hence National Income. If the patient is struck by the ‘disease’ during walking/commuting, which often is the case, then this results in accidents. Actually a recent survey indicates that this is the major cause of accidents in recent times. Hence it is better to follow the adage- ‘Prevention is better than cure’. So once you get the symptoms, relax awhile and then consult a jataksologist to get you back to normalcy. Several symptoms include-clogging of your mental process, mind refusing to shift focus… transforming you, for nano- seconds into a brainless git, unable to do anything than blink and rub your eyes vigorously, dizziness, haunting of that colour in your visual nerves; and in severe cases- nausea, fever and fits!!!” an eminent jatakslogist clarifies.
In the author’s personal experience, recovery may takes several minutes or hours, and sometimes even days! Normally, self-curable by relaxing and concentrating on pleasanter thoughts by closing the eye( in case the jataks object still is in focus),in case of such extremeties,consulting a jataksologist is greatly recommended. Medication include psychological treatment to forget the colour, hypnosis to forget the trauma experienced, counseling( not the engineering one, Puhleez!) and physiotherapy( in case your body muscles stiffened up (Seeing Jataks stuff= Petrificus Totalus for a few cases!).
Although lots of cases have been reported near the shopping areas only, many are occassionally spotted near cinema halls, beaches, panjumuttai kadais, ribbon stalls, etc, where lots of people and jataks colours( obviously, duh!) congregate!
People are asked to be careful about this disease ,as, coupled with the sweltering heat, it is supposed to cause nightmares, mirages and even retard your sensory capacities( as it seems to have, for the author!). Sunglasses are found to reduce the degree of attack but ultimately, mental control to refuse to see the colour seems to be most effective! Cases seem to be on the rise in recent times.
For further information on the disease please mail: the_help_forum@jataksitis.com
For FAQ’s: faq@jataksitis.com
For assistance and contact details: queries@jataksitis.com

7 comments

Vani Viswanathan said...

ei...
just visited ur blog once..adhukulla adutha post cycle gap-la adichutiye??
jataaks-ku faq vera vaa? ;)

* said...

Nice Post. I am impressed by your interest in an innovative phenomenon, this blog was much different from the narcissistic, egoistic stuff that are present in most blogs. Maintain that outlook in your life, you will go far, all the best.

Harish said...

There's only one known cure for this disease. To become immune to it. How? Watch a lotta Ramarajan films!

Praveen said...

Cha i was about to say that! :)

* said...

he he he you guys are right :)

Vivhyd said...

Edho soluvarae teriyardhu.. aana onnumae puriyalae.. hmm ...

Om said...

Hey wait a min. Were you in a jataksi state when you selected the color for your blog???

PINK! Gawd What were you thinking...

-A typical guy

p.s. just kidding :-)

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Maira Gall